Aftershock - Can I Trust My Emotions?Esimerkki

Sad/Grieving

Sadness is part of the grieving process, but it’s not the whole picture. You might feel sad about any number of things, but it would be misleading to compare sadness with the overwhelming emotional weight of grief from betrayal or marital infidelity.

In his book A Grief Observed, C. S. Lewis described the grief he experienced after the death of his wife: “Part of every misery is, so to speak . . . the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.”

Clearly, grief is much more than mere sadness. Although you might not be dealing with the physical death of a spouse, you are dealing with the daily reality of grief that Lewis described. Your original perceptions of your husband might have been based on high ideals rather than a full understanding of both his good and bad qualities. On your wedding day, you were the princess, the adored and beloved object of your groom’s affection, and you thought it would last forever. Now, you feel sad, depressed, and far from regal.

Fortunately, grief can be a doorway to the truth. You don’t live in a fairy tale but in the truth that God is in the business of healing and restoring lives. Psalm 107:6 says, “Then they [the redeemed] cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.” As you grieve the loss of your Cinderella story, you can choose to receive peace and hope from God!

A word of caution: Grief not attended to can lead to a condition called complicated grief. In complicated grief, painful emotions are so long-lasting that you have trouble accepting the loss and resuming normal activities and responsibilities. Complicated grief can slide into deep depression and suicidal thinking. If this describes you in any manner, please tell a trusted friend, a family member, or a pastor and schedule an appointment as soon as possible with a therapist for a professional assessment. Or go directly to your local emergency room.

Next, we’ll look more closely at dealing with fear and anxiety.