Church Volume Two: A 9-Day Devotional by Jesus CultureEsimerkki

Fearless - Kim Walker-Smith

“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)

About five years ago, my stepfather passed away. I found myself completely overwhelmed with depression, anxiety, and stress. We had moved to a new city; we were trying to sell our home; I had just had two babies in a period of 14 months, and I had too much on my plate. Because of the pain and frustration that I felt, I put up my walls and pointed my anger at Jesus. Fear began to cripple me—fear of the future, fear of abandonment, and even fear of myself. I was afraid of the size and strength of my emotions and was desperately trying to fight my way out of the mess—alone and in my own strength. I could feel Jesus quietly knocking at the door of my heart, asking to be let in.  But in my best attempts at perfection, I thought that I couldn’t let the King of kings into this space in my heart until I cleaned up the mess. It was as if I really believed that I could somehow sort out all my issues and fear and then present a perfect, whole, clean, and put-together person to Jesus, as if that is what He was after. Probably about the time I realized I was running against the wind, it occurred to me that I had seemed to forget who Jesus is: my Redeemer. My need for redemption and healing bubbled up to the surface, and I could no longer contain it. I surrendered in that moment and let Jesus into the mess that was within me. I thought that He would come in, take a look around at the mess, and with the clap of His hands, give me a big to-do list and instruct me in cleaning it up. But instead, He did what a loving and kind Father does: He took my hand. He wasn’t angry at me for putting up my walls, and He wasn’t disappointed in me.  He didn’t try to rush me, but instead soothed and assured my heart that He wouldn’t let go of my hand and that together we would face the fears and the pain. As His perfect love flowed out and over my head and heart, every fear was driven away. Slowly and one step at a time, He led me out of the wilderness. Obviously, there are many wonderful things about getting free from fear, but one of the best parts is the joy that comes flooding in! Let today be a day to feel burdens lifted off and fear running away and let the love of God overwhelm your heart and fill you up with joy!