Day Three

I often say I know it’s the Holy Spirit when I feel compelled to do something I don’t want to do. This story from my book is a great example of that. How many times do we resist when God is urging us to act or speak, just because we’d rather not? Developing a personal relationship with God requires obedience. And even though this often takes me out of my comfort zone, I have yet to regret it.

“What were you thinking, Lord?”

Sometimes, when I hear others talk about their relationship with God, it sounds so beautiful and reverent. But throughout my Blue Monarch journey, there have been many times when my conversations with God have included lines such as, “What were you thinking, Lord?!”

One such time was a late night when I was driving down the interstate, returning from Nashville. There I was, minding my own business, listening to music way too loud with the sunroof open. But suddenly, out of the blue, I heard God tell me, “You need to go by Blue Monarch and pray over Kristi.”

Well, it was almost 10:30 at night and there was no way I was doing that. I was not accustomed to walking in the door that late and certainly not into someone’s bedroom. Our residents would think I had lost my mind. And I also convinced myself it would frighten them, and that was reason enough not to go. So, there. “For crying out loud, that’s crazy. I’m not doing it.” End of story.

As I drove further down the interstate, I began thinking of Kristi and the struggles she had recently experienced. Over the previous weeks, she had lost most of her hearing and no one could figure out why. It was frustrating for her because she could barely hear, and as a recovering addict in a new place, recently out of jail, healing from a severely abusive marriage, she had enough struggles without that problem too.

As I got closer and closer to the exit I would need to take for Blue Monarch, the message from God just got louder and louder. I could not ignore it no matter how loud I turned up the music. So as usual, I thought I would cut a deal with God and settle this conflict on my terms.

“Okay, okay, Lord. This is the deal. I will drive out to Blue Monarch – even though it’s now almost 11:00 at night. If Kristi’s light is on, I’ll go in. But if she’s in bed, I’m turning around and going home. And by the way, this is crazy, just so you know.”

As I drove into the dark driveway at Blue Monarch and made my way to the home where Kristi was staying, I expected to see a dark house. But surprisingly, there was one single light on downstairs. I quietly opened the door and walked inside. And what did I find? Kristi was the only one awake, and she was sitting there, almost as if she expected me.

I sat down next to her and said, “I know this sounds crazy, but God told me to come pray with you.” At that point, I could hear God telling me to place my hands over her ears, which I did, even though it felt like a weird thing to do. Then he told me to tell Kristi that it was safe for her to hear now, that she was not going to hear the hurtful things she had heard in the past.

As soon as I told her this, which I had to practically yell, she collapsed and began to weep. And I’m sure you know the rest of the story. Her hearing began returning almost immediately.

Prayer:

Thank you, Lord, for being so patient with me, even when I think I know best. Amen

Personal challenges and reflection:

• Do you believe in your heart that God can use you to heal others? When has he used you to emotionally or physically heal someone?
• When have you been obedient even when you didn’t want to be? What blessing did you receive from that?
• How do you distinguish God’s voice from your thoughts? What circumstances or practices help you hear him more clearly?
• Have you ever found yourself arguing with God? Do you feel comfortable being that honest and transparent with him?
• How can you make yourself a more willing vessel for God to use in healing others?