100 Days of HopeSample

Broken Expectations

Broken expectations can bring deep pain, but they can also bring surprising freedom. A couple years ago, I was faced with this truth in a dynamic way. For three years I’d been pursuing a degree in philosophy. I’d spent countless nights pouring over classic texts desperately trying to understand the arguments, but no matter how much I studied, peace of mind always seemed just a couple late nights away. If God is perfectly reasonable, why did every argument about the nature of His creation leave me less satisfied?

It was then that my expectations were profoundly broken. I felt the longing for completion often articulated by biblical writers and theologians, but all this time I’d expected to find complete understanding on earth. It seems so simple, but realizing that our longing cannot be fulfilled until we are restored to full union with God in the next life changes everything.

It doesn’t absolve us of the responsibility to use our intellects well and to constantly seek higher understanding of God, but it readjusts our expectations and refreshes our prayers for “Thy Kingdom come.” The Augustinian adage “Our heart is restless until it rests in You” is profoundly true—and where and when we expect to find that rest matters.

Prayer: God, thank you for the grace you show in not revealing everything to us. Help me to rely on you and not my own understanding.