Freely Receive, Freely GiveSample

More Practical Steps to Forgiveness

Continuing yesterday’s theme, here are some more practical steps to forgiveness:

1. Intentionally make forgiveness a regular part of your life.

In our Scripture reading today, the model prayer Jesus gave us includes His statement, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” This is part of a prayer that includes elements we need to pray about regularly. That means forgiveness will be a recurring theme in our prayers because it’s a recurring need in our lives. None of us are perfect, and none of us treat others perfectly. We will need forgiveness at times and always need to forgive others.

2. Be prepared to forgive the same person repeatedly, if necessary.

When Jesus spoke to Peter about forgiveness in Matthew 18:21-22, Peter wanted to know how high to count before holding a grudge was appropriate. Jesus basically said he needed to quit keeping score. If we must forgive the same person again, it doesn’t change what Jesus said. Even if we must forgive the same person 490 times in one day, we still do it—because it’s still the healthier alternative to a grudge, and it still honours God and His work of grace in our hearts.

3. Realize that forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting.

Your brain efficiently records every offence, even perceived offences, like a photograph. It especially records any acts or events it deems traumatic, in its attempt to protect you. While our minds try to catalogue all the wrongs committed against us, Jesus provides us with a release valve called forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t erase the memory of an event that hurt you, but it does give the Holy Spirit the go-ahead to begin healing you from the inside out. Every time a memory revisits your mind, you will have to decide to “set aside your anger” again and let it go. Trust God to keep working on you and the situation. Just because you have some memories of the past and what happened to you doesn’t mean it has any power over you in the present. It’s just a snapshot the enemy tries to bring up occasionally. Don’t take it and hang it on your fridge. It’s old history; let it go.

Prayer: Father, I want to be a man who forgives on a regular basis, consistently and faithfully. Even if the same person wrongs me repeatedly, give me the strength to set aside my anger and the need for revenge. Help me make forgiveness a lifestyle that honours You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Reflection: Have you had repeated memories of past wrongs come up in your mind again and again? You don’t have to remain helpless when those old photographs show up. Train yourself to take it before God, forgive again, and see yourself in God’s care, helping you recover fully. Forgiveness keeps you in God’s full care. After all, Jesus is the Great Physician who can heal you everywhere you hurt—even your emotions and memories.