Relentless EmpathySample

Hardwired to Connect

It is not good for man to be alone.

Genesis 2:18

When God says something is good, he sets it into its proper place in the universe. The stars, the land, and the light were all declared good. On the other hand, when God says something is not good, it’s a big problem. This is not simply an opinion because God does not have opinions. It is not a mistake because God doesn’t make mistakes. So, what’s the problem? The problem is when God says something is “not good,” it is headed for disaster! “Not good” is a God-warning!

At first glance, it might sound heretical, but Genesis 2 makes this clear: without healthy human connection, we are in a crisis of aloneness that rivals the crisis of sin entering the garden. Bible scholars call sin entering the world the “fall of man” or the “crisis of fallenness.” My friend Dr. David Ferguson calls the Genesis 2 problem the “crisis of aloneness.” The crisis of aloneness can manifest itself in emotional pain, anxiety, worry, fear, disorders, depression, or even suicidal tendencies. A case study by the YMCA and Dartmouth Medical School reveals that a lack of connection to other people causes Americans to rush to medications and psychotherapies for answers.

We were created for connection. This truth gives us psychological insight into our negative behavior and painful emotions. Bad moods, depression, and fear lead to the production of cortisol in the body. Think of cortisol as nature’s built-in alarm system, warning you that something is wrong. Oxytocin, on the other hand, is a hormone and neurotransmitter involved in childbirth and breast-feeding in women. In men, it fosters relationship-building and also sexual activity. It is called the “love hormone” for a reason. Guess what else stimulates this wonderful drug? Empathy! The implications of this are enormous. When we choose a life of relentless empathy, we feel amazing.

Looking through the lens of science, healthy attachments positively impact our physiology.

Looking through the lens of the Bible, healthy attachments give us God’s power to empower others.

We were created for connection, but what is connection really? Simply put, connection is “to know and to be known.” It is the way God exists in the Trinity. We witness a powerful example of connection between God the Father and God the Son when Jesus was on the cross and cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me?” It appears that Jesus was feeling more pain about the disconnect with the Father than he was about the nails in his hands and feet. Stunning!

A great expression of the Trinity’s empathy for humanity was when “God made him [Jesus] who had no sin to be sin for us.” He switched shoes with us. Jesus got into our shoes and invited us into his. This allows us to know God personally and to be fully known by God as well. Because of our connection with God, we have what it takes to connect with others in real and powerful ways.

Reflection:

On a scale of 1 (not so great) to 10 (great), rank your level of fulfillment in the key relationships in your life. (spouse, children, friends, co-workers, church)

How can stepping up your efforts to be empathetic lead to greater connection with others?