The Heart Of Man: Overcoming Shame And Finding IdentityNäide

 THE CLIFF

“Probably the most unexplainable reality in all the universe is how you can have everything and simply want something else you’ve been told not to get. That’s madness! You’ve got billions of dollars and you sell your soul for a quarter that you see on the ground. Madness! Insanity! To try and explain that, all we can say is two things: God gave freedom to love and without the choice to say ‘no’ there’s no meaning to saying ‘yes.’”

Below is a description of how sin works. If you can learn this destructive cycle, you will learn how to avoid much pain from life’s cliffs. 

Out of the blue, something triggers your attention. A billboard, a memory, a hurtful statement, the wisp of an image. Just enough to catch your eye — something seditiously attractive — enough to set the hook. 

Then your self-story begins to replay itself. Your shame forms the lies and predicts the outcome. “Here we go again. Every time this hits, I will fail. Sure, I’ll fight it, but in the end, I will lose.”

Then the temptation hits. A choice to actively do something wrong. Here comes the whisper inside you: “You deserve it. You have not been treated well by God or the significant others in your life. And God does not seem to be able to help you on this stuff anyway. Just say ‘yes,’ and the gears will get rolling. You don’t even have to admit to yourself that you made the choice.” 

Now the crime is set in motion. There is an actual place and time or perhaps even a person. 

Next, you resist. Pitifully, this is the most laughable part of the story. Here’s the insanity of this part of the transaction. You are trying to fight the sin you’ve already given yourself permission to carry out. And the longer you fight it, the more the anticipated pleasure of the event increases. What a trap.

Unless and until this comes to the light, you will always, inevitably, invariably lose. You will act out. Period. 

Reflection: Is there anyone you trust enough to tell what you are wrestling with right now?