Surviving Year One: After the Death of Your SpouseSample

He Is Your Hope

Death has a way of changing our hopes and dreams. We often hope for things like healthy bodies, bigger homes, and time spent with loved ones. But anyone who has watched dirt cover their spouse’s coffin knows how terribly temporary those things are.

A few months after my husband died, a kind but clueless acquaintance asked me, “What are you looking forward to this year?”

“Nothing,” I responded, too sorrowful to hide my honest thoughts behind a socially acceptable veneer of joy.

It felt like nothing would ever be good again. Each day took an overwhelming effort to survive. Somedays, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. My dreams—our dreams—had died with my husband. What was there to look forward to but a bleak stretch of days alone? Birthdays, holidays, and vacations—the typical stuff of joy—felt dismal and sad. I wanted to go back in time, not forward to another day without him.

To keep living when we’ve been ripped in half by the death of our spouse, we need a better hope than just good days ahead. We need a sturdy hope that death, age, and decay cannot steal from us. This is the hope Scripture provides.

Lamentations 3:22-24 points to our sturdy hope. Instead of hoping in peaceful circumstances or personal prosperity, the author of Lamentations roots his hope in God’s steadfast love, unending mercy, and perfect faithfulness.

David, the author of nearly half of the Psalms, lived a life filled with the things we think will make us happy: spouse, children, home, power, and wealth. Yet he also suffered times of betrayal, terror, family strife, and the death of a beloved child. As he followed God through a life filled with both joy and sorrow, he learned to hope in God, not his circumstances, proclaiming, “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken” (Psalm 62:5-6).

Like David, let’s look to the Lord. He alone is our sturdy hope.

At FamilyLife, we want to be a part of your journey. If you need more help navigating your life without your spouse, please visit our resource page on grieving. You’re not alone.