The Good Mess: Finding Beauty in Imperfect MomentsSample

Choosing to Be Present

By Debbie Morris

But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”

And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” –Luke 10:40–42 (NKJV)

One Christmas when our kids were younger, after weeks of preparing, cleaning, shopping, wrapping, and organizing—it hit me! Out of nowhere—it hit me! A snowball made of tinsel, tissue, and wrapping paper smacked me in the head. Not some metaphorical thought, but a real-life paper snowball. The atomic paper wasn’t intended for me, but I got hit in the crossfire. When our kids and their cousins realized they wouldn’t be grounded, they started a unique family tradition. Every neatly wrapped present is a potential weapon. As each gift is unwrapped, the paper is wadded up into a ball. The kids try to wait until all the gifts are opened, but they can’t resist hitting an unaware relative with a paper snowball.

None of us sit around the table remembering what we had for dinner or how the tree was decorated last year, but the kids still debate who drew “first blood” years ago and who got in the best shot in the wrapping paper snowball fight. It’s not a family tradition we envisioned, but I couldn’t have planned it better!

We still wrap gifts, decorate the tree, and cook a delicious meal because we love our families. We look forward to the glimmer in our grandkids’ eyes as they discover the wonder of the holidays. But I have learned to relax and be present because the best moments are likely to just hit me in the head.

Maybe I learned this from Mary and Martha. Martha thought she was choosing to do the most important things—cooking, cleaning, and hosting—but these only distracted her from enjoying time with her family and their special guest, Jesus. She was missing precious time with the King of kings and Lord of lords because she was “distracted with much serving.” Then there was Mary, who chose to be present over busyness. Scripture calls her choice the “good part.”

How many times have we chosen to be busy instead of spending time with loved ones? How many times do we miss moments with our family because we’re too worried about having a clean kitchen? Yes, the dishes need to be done, but they can wait a little longer. Years from now, you won’t remember your clean house or the table centerpiece. But you’ll remember your son’s chocolate pie song, how your niece fell asleep with her head on your shoulder, or how a ball of wrapping paper hit you in the face.

While holiday preparations are good and often necessary, there’s a time and place for them, and may I say, it’s not when everyone is together. I encourage you to relax from your to-do list and be mindful of the moments you have with your kids or grandkids. Every day with those we love is a precious gift, and as they grow, you will greatly miss the little hugs, elated screams, silly conversations, and sleepy smiles of days past.

What will it take for you to be present and enjoy time with your family? Because being together, making memories, telling funny stories, having “snowball fights” . . . those are the really good parts of life. And sometimes the best memories are created when you’re not looking for them.

So, duck! Incoming! Wrapping paper snowballs are headed your way (metaphorically, of course!).

Finding Beauty in the Mess

Being present takes intentionality. Will you choose to be present during family times? What steps do you need to take to make this happen?