Living With Unmet Longing: A Study of the Woman at the WellSample

Jesus is a master of using everyday experiences to reveal a profound truth. In his conversation with the woman at the well, he uses the topic of water to teach us something important about the architecture of our souls.

Just as our bodies communicate our needs through physical sensations (like thirst), our desires alert us to spiritual and emotional needs. Fear is meant to drive us to security. Loneliness is meant to drive us to connection.

The woman in this story has many “soul needs.” She has zero friends, has been through five failed marriages, and her current boyfriend won’t commit to her. She came to the well to quench her physical thirst, but Jesus knows she’s aching with a deeper spiritual thirst—the pain of unmet longing.

Every human being knows this pain. We all have delayed dreams for relationships, work, or healing. And yet, one of the realities of living in a broken, sinful world is that our hopes are not guaranteed to happen—or to happen when we want. Jesus knows that unmet longing is a tension to live with, not a problem to solve. He admits, “You will thirst again” (John 4:13).

Pause for a minute and put yourself in the woman’s sandals. How would it feel for a strange man you’ve just met to reveal he knows everything about your failed relationships?

It would feel weird, or scary, or vulnerable—right?

But the reality is God already knows our deepest longings and best-kept secrets! He knows the twists and turns of our story. He knows every thought and intention of our hearts.

And—here’s some glorious news—he does not weaponize this knowledge. Jesus didn’t bring up this woman’s failed marriages to slap her on the wrist. He brought it up as a prerequisite to true connection, true healing. We’ll see how in the next couple of days of our study.

But before we get there, let’s ask ourselves one question, What am I longing for? What soul-needs do I have?

And let’s entrust Jesus with those longings with this prayer of surrender:

God, I have deep needs that only you can meet. I trust you with my unmet longing. Help me know that you see me, just like you saw the woman at the well. In Jesus’ name, amen.