Know Love Like This: 21 Days of Discovering God's Heart for YouSample

Choosing Love

By Steve Dulin

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. –John 3:16

John 3:16 is probably the most well-known and quoted verse in the Bible. If someone knows only one Bible verse, it’s most likely John 3:16. This passage is so universally beloved because in it, God shares that He loves us with an almost unfathomable love; a love so complete that He sent His only Son to die for us so we might live with Him in eternity. The love referenced in John 3:16 is known in the Bible as agape love.

Agape love is the unconditional, self-sacrificing love given to others without expecting anything in return. It is the kind of love Jesus exhibited when He chose to die for us. The key word in the last sentence is “chose.” Jesus made a decision and died for us, despite His emotions. But agape love is not only for Jesus to express.

God commands us in Matthew 22:36–40 to love Him, ourselves, and our neighbor with the same kind of love! You see, agape love is a decision. Love is an act of will. Contrary to what movies, books, songs, or culture tells us, it is not merely an emotion or feeling. We have to choose to love. And since this is a command, I decided to try to follow it.

After studying love for two years, I decided I would wake up every day and say, “Today, I choose to love God. Today, I choose to love myself. Today, I choose to love others.” Sometimes, I said this multiple times a day. Each time I spoke those words, I was making an intentional decision to love God, myself, and others. One day, after about six months, I woke up and realized that I loved God, I loved myself, and I loved others. And it has never changed! Why? Because love is a decision. God wants us to love Him, love ourselves, and love others. But we have to decide to love.

My wife, Melody, and I have been married for more than 40 years. She is the love of my life, and she always will be. But early in our marriage, our relationship became very strained. While we’d made a vow to love each other, I am not sure we liked each other, and things were tense at best. One day we decided to go on a weekend retreat and just focus on intentionally loving each other. And you know what? We’ve both been in love ever since. I have made a decision to love her the rest of my life. You see, you can “fall out of love” if it’s just an emotion or feeling. But love endures when you choose to make a permanent decision. Melody and I realized we had a choice. We could be married happy or married sad. We chose happy.

If you want to love, you have to decide to love. Colossians 3:14 says, “But above all these things put on love [make a decision], which is the bond of perfection” (emphasis added).

Even Jesus had to decide to love us enough to die for us. The Bible makes it clear it was an incredibly hard decision, knowing the path that lay before Him. Luke 22:44 says He was “in agony . . . His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” But there, in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus chose to go to the cross because of His unconditional, self-sacrificing love for us.

No matter how difficult it may seem, I encourage you today—choose to love God, yourself, and others with agape love, and see what God does!

Prayer

Father, by Your grace today, I choose to love You, myself, and others with agape love. It is a decision that I will reinforce for the rest of my life because I know it is Your will. Please help me to demonstrate and live out the type of love Jesus had for us on the cross. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

For Further Reflection

• Do you love people based on your emotions and feelings or on a decision you’ve made?
• Have you made a decision to love God, yourself, and others? Why or why not?
• How can you demonstrate agape love to others today?

Holy Spirit, what are you saying to me?