Know Love Like This: 21 Days of Discovering God's Heart for YouSample

The Comfort of Friends

By Janna Briggs

Then, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was who had been dead, whom He had raised from the dead. There they made Him a supper; and Martha served, but Lazarus was one of those who sat at the table with Him. Then Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard, anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil. –John 12:1–3

In 2020, my husband and I went through the most devastating season of our lives. Within the span of three short months, our 19-year-old son and our 22-year-old son both ran ahead of us to heaven. It was so horrific we barely knew how to function.

But it was during that season that I began to recognize the value of my friends in a way I never fully had before. Friends who I could call and just cry with over the phone. Friends who showed up and let me be raw and authentic. These friends held my hands at the funerals of both my sons and have helped walk me through life since then. There are still times now that I call or text just to hear and feel the safety of their voices and the reassurance of their consistency. I never knew how much I would need the encouragement and comfort that comes when I am in the company of trusted friends.

In chapter 12 of the book of John, many people focus on the beautiful act of service and sacrifice that Mary did for Jesus with her precious jar of oil. I am struck, however, with something else. Jesus, knowing He was in the last days of His life on earth, intentionally chose to spend time with His close friends. Fully man, yet fully Divine, He must have been thinking about what was on the horizon for Him. The pain. The rejection. The grief. The end of His days walking on this planet were not going to be filled with joy but with anguish. And yet, instead of withdrawing and isolating Himself, He chose to be in the company of His good friends.

I wonder if they shared stories and laughter over the meal Mary and Martha made and served? Maybe they retold stories and recollected the moment Lazarus’s life was restored. Were there moments of quiet where the group could tell something was on His mind? Is this what caused Mary to make the decision to break her alabaster jar and pour out the contents on Jesus’ feet? She performed that selfless act in the middle of the meal. Did the atmosphere of the room change? Did everyone in attendance sense that something heavy was weighing on Jesus? Something tells me Jesus didn’t pretend with them. In the chapter before this, Lazarus is explicitly defined as Jesus’ friend. Of all the places He could go in His final days, He chose to be with His friends. I think they must have brought Him comfort.

My husband and I have found comfort in the presence of our friends so many times in the last few years. God’s statement in Genesis 2—“It is not good that man should be alone”—doesn’t only apply to a spouse. If Jesus needed dear friends, how much more do we?!

So where do you go when trouble comes? Of course, you can—and should—go to the Lord, but do you have friends you can reach out to when your mind and heart are troubled? Do you have someone you can call, text, or meet up with when everything in your world is turned upside-down and you just need someone to hold your hand? And on the flip side of that, are you a friend who is safe for others to come to? Proverbs 17:17 (NIV) tells us, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” God designed us to live in community and gather courage from the company of trusted friends, in good times and in bad.

Perhaps you’re reading this today and longing for friendship, but you feel isolated in life. If you’re struggling to find good friends, please do not give up. If you don’t know where to start, a small group is a wonderful place to find friends! Seek somewhere you can be vulnerable and real. Somewhere you don’t have to show off or downplay your strengths and giftings. Somewhere you can be who God made you to be. Pray and ask God to lead you to people you can learn, grow, cry, and laugh with.

We are not meant to do life alone. Just look at Jesus!

Prayer

Jesus, You are my friend, and I thank You. Would You help me be a better friend to those around me and build more authentic relationships with others? When I have things I need to talk about, please help me to find trusted friends to confide in. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

For Further Reflection

• Take a few minutes today, and write down times a friend has made a difference in your life. Thank the Lord for those friends, and perhaps send them a quick note of gratitude.
• Is there a friend you could reach out to and encourage today?
• Ask the Holy Spirit to show you some ways you could find new relationships, perhaps in small groups, at church events, at work, or in your neighborhood.

Holy Spirit, what are you saying to me?