Being Whole: 21 Days to Overcoming Relational TraumaSample

FORGIVENESS:

Forgiving someone does not mean you are okay with what happened. We struggle with forgiving those who have caused us pain because forgiveness feels vulnerable. Your idea is that forgiveness means approval or acceptance of the behavior. No, forgiveness means your FREEDOM mentally and emotionally. We also do not recognize we have the power to set boundaries. In other words, forgiveness is granted by access denied. Setting boundaries and verbalizing your social, emotional, behavioral parameters for others is okay!

As Christians, we are called to forgive others as God has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). Here are some steps that can be helpful in the process of forgiving others:

1. Acknowledge the hurt: It is important to recognize and acknowledge the pain that we have experienced because of someone else's actions or words.
2. Choose to forgive: Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. We must make a deliberate decision to forgive the person who has hurt us, even if we do not feel like it.
3. Pray for the person: Praying for the person who has hurt us can help us to see them through God's eyes and to extend grace and compassion towards them.
4. Let go of bitterness: Holding on to bitterness and resentment only hurts us in the long run. We must choose to let go of our anger and bitterness and trust God to heal our wounds.

Set healthy boundaries: forgiveness does not mean continue to allow people to mistreat you. It is important to set healthy boundaries and protect ourselves from further harm.

Questions to Ponder:

What is your idea of forgiveness and what does God say about forgiveness? Are they congruent? What hinders you from walking in total forgiveness? Allow the Holy Spirit to minister a hope and a future to you.