Trying Again Part II : After Miscarriage & Pregnancy LossNäide

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When dealing with health issues within fertility, it can be a lot on your body, mind, and emotions. That then turns into affecting your marital relationship. You find yourself somewhat detached from your actual relationship and more engaged in the potential of having a baby. Intimacy can even start feeling more transactional rather than about you all connecting.

The relationship becomes more about having a baby than sustaining and nurturing a marriage. You only discuss fertility plans and the "what-ifs." Though God does desire us to have a family, He expects you to put your marriage first after Him. Not your children. Not your parents. Not your job. Your spouse.

We end up taking a lot of our time and energy on appointments and dreams and must find a way to put that same energy, or more, into nurturing and sustaining our relationship with our spouse.

What can you do to ensure you are putting your marriage first? For my spouse, we continued counseling at least every 2-3 weeks, kept to our routine of having a day of no work on Sundays, and focused on living for that day versus always considering the "What Ifs." Of course, it's okay to dream sometimes. Just don't allow the dream to overshadow the blessings of today.

Reflection:

Do you feel you and your spouse have become obsessed with having a baby?

Has the process drained your energy to where you don't feel like focusing on your marriage?

What can you both do to keep the marriage a priority and continue to nurture your relationship?