When Conflict Arises - Biblical Wisdom for Managing DifferencesSample

Be Humble and Filled with Grace

As Christian Counselors, pride is one of the most significant issues we see that is causing pain in marriages. I wish I could say it never affected my marriage, but sadly it did. I entered my marriage with a chip on my shoulder from some past wounds that I left unhealed. Those unhealed wounds left me prideful and unwilling to accept responsibility for anything, even when it was my fault. If you've ever read Proverbs 16:18, when it talks about pride coming before the fall, I can testify that this is true. A lack of humility was slowly but surely wreaking havoc in my marriage.

Walking in humility and extending grace is necessary to having conflict healthily and biblically. Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us to consider others above ourselves and to look out for their interests. Pride demands the opposite. Selfishness was the error I was making in my marriage. I was looking out for my needs and prioritizing them over my husband's, so much so that I wasn't even willing to give him enough grace to hear him out. My way was nothing more than a recipe for disaster that would lead to the fall of our marriage if I continued to walk in it.

It wasn't until I realized that there were more perspectives than my own and that my love for my husband was modeled much better through grace and humility than in teaching him my ways of perceived rightness. Long story short, humility and grace bring forth healing, while pride brings forth division.

In conflict with your spouse, it's essential to approach them with humility, seeking to understand their perspective and being willing to admit your faults. As Christ has done for us, extending grace and forgiveness will soften their heart faster than accusation and pride. Adding grace and humility to your conflict is a great way to bring Christ into your situation for clarity and healing.

Ponder This:

Do you put your needs or your spouse's needs first? How is what you're doing working for you in areas of conflict?

Let's Pray:

Dear Lord,

No one has more grace than you do, and I thank you for your gift of grace. So many times, you hold back what I deserve and instead, pour out your grace. Please help me to do the same for my spouse. Help me walk in humility and love them the way you do. In Jesus' name, Amen.