Unlocking Acceptance

How to Open Our Hearts to People Who Are Different from Us, Defeat Our Own Biases, and Create Safe Spaces for All People

Another key we need to find in our toolbox is the key that will unlock our ability for acceptance, both of ourselves and others. This key is the one that will gain us entry into the most tender part of our hearts, that place that longs for validation of who we are.

Too often, we can get locked up into judging ourselves and others with standards that are rigid, rough, and unmerciful. We can live our lives by rules instead of compassion.

We call this “self-righteousness.” Acceptance is the opposite of self-righteousness. Acceptance is the ability to accept people as they are. Simply put, the act of acceptance means that we are to “welcome” people, not treat them with any partiality because they look, act, think, or believe differently than we do.

Throughout the Bible, we see that God welcomes everyone who comes to Him. Jesus always extends acceptance and kindness first. He never says, “First clean up your act, then come to me.” He values each person for what they have to offer.

Elizabeth Gilbert, in her book, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage, says, “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on the miraculous.”

I love that quote because it aptly reflects the desire of every human being on this earth to be known, to be accepted as he or she is.

Jesus often ruffled the feathers of the religious leaders of His day—the Pharisees and Sadducees—because He welcomed, loved, and accepted everyone He met, especially those who the religious leaders had rejected—sinners, infirmed, outcasts, women, children, and all that were considered “less than,” “vile,” and “different.”

It seems like a simple concept, doesn’t it? Yet, we humans have a way of complicating everything.

God's word is pretty clear (in several passages) that we are to love our neighbor.

“If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing well.” —James 2:8 (ESV)

The above Scripture tells us that “loving our neighbor” is a barometer of how well we do in our walk with God. I think there is no better time than today to ask ourselves, “How am I doing?

Do I love my neighbor as myself? Do I treat others with the same acceptance, kindness, respect, and dignity that I desire for myself?”

Christians have been the target of major criticism from today’s culture for their seeming lack of love for their neighbors. Let’s be honest. Sometimes that criticism is well-deserved. We can come across as harsh, unaccepting, or judgmental toward people.

The problem is that we too often think that we must compromise our convictions to love (accept) our neighbor, yet this is not the case at all.

None of us are given an “out” when it comes to the command to love our neighbors as ourselves. In fact, Jesus made it very clear just how vital this command was to those who followed Him. He said, ‘“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

God says that loving your neighbor is just as important as loving Him. In fact, if we love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, then loving our neighbor is a natural by-product of our love for God.

Let's reflect on this today.