Intentional Motherhood: Habits for True Self CareSample

Can I tell you something? I have always been a pretty great bedtime mom. When my sons were younger, all five of them, I would take a few minutes with each of the boys at the end of the day to talk about their day, share jokes and stories, watch silly YouTube videos, to snuggle. Whatever it is that boy wanted to do that night - within reason - I was game. That’s my thing. I love being a bedtime mom!

I recently told a friend about it, and her response was, “Well, I need to learn to do a bedtime routine like that too!”

After all, it’s in our nature to look for ways to get better at anything we’re doing, especially in motherhood.

We talked about it again a few weeks later. She said the bedtime routine was terrible and that it was NOT what their family would do. She had realized that she wasn’t a bedtime mom at all. She was a morning mom.

Now I am not a morning mom. I barely get them food and out the door in the mornings.

She realized she wasn’t trying to be the mother she was supposed to be. She was trying to be the mother I was supposed to be.

This has happened to everybody. A friend makes an off-hand comment about how proud she is that her family only eats organic foods and locally-sourced meats, and you start to wonder. Should I feel bad about taking my kids to Chick-Fil-A every Wednesday afternoon? You know what I mean?

Another friend gets into skincare, and she announces her quest to find the perfect non-toxic sunscreen for her family. I’m left thinking I’m lucky to find any sunscreen in the bottom of my pool bag.

Should we feel bad about this?

Of course not, because we do things differently.

The truth is there is no one perfect way to be a great mom.

Each family has their unique life circumstances, limitations, priorities, and resources available to them.

It’s also okay for each mom to have a different way of doing things and different convictions about how she raises her children. It’s true for her. It’s true for you. It’s true for me.

Ultimately, a woman of God gets her direction on how to mother from Him. Rather than meeting the standards that our friends next to us are keeping, it’s important to discern through time in the Word and prayer what God would have us do with our families.

In Romans 12:2, Paul tells us Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern God's will, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Did you catch that? No part of this world - no matter how well-informed or helpful that friend is - is meant to offer us the same guidance as God. That is the truth.

When we begin to look elsewhere for what is good and acceptable and perfect, that’s when we get into trouble. Since our God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and ever-present, we can trust Him to guide us in the right way to mother our children. Trusting Him and only Him.

Friend, I know it can be hard sometimes.

I know it’s hard to keep your eyes on Jesus and off of other people’s lives (and their opinions!), but goodness, it’s worth it.

Nothing will rob you of a sweet day with your family faster than comparing your life with someone else’s.

So let’s commit together today to get our parenting pointers from our Father and Him alone.

Amen? Amen.

Lord, I too often get caught up in the comparison game. It makes me feel inferior, and I know that’s now how you made me. Help me seek your direction on how I should mother and trust you to give me everything I need, exactly when I need it. Amen.

What now?

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