[Song of Songs] Like MagnetsNäide

Use Your Words

What do you think romance is about? Let me tell you what is not about: romance is not about a man touching a woman’s body. It can lead to that in a married relationship, but it is much deeper than that. Romance is about touching the heart, mind, and soul of the other with tender words and affection. Charles Joseph Mahaney, a North American pastor, said: “In order for romance to deepen, you must touch the heart and mind of your wife before you touch her body.”

Men need to learn to use their words to romance their wives, learn to say things out loud. Men tend to be more visual, but women tend to receive romance in an auditory way, through tender and kind words.

The groom uses the word “darling” nine times in the book of Song of Songs when speaking to the bride. What does this word mean in Hebrew? It means, “Lover friend.” Companion. Best friend. Your spouse is supposed to be your best friend, as well as your lover. There should be an aspect of romance in your relationship. A marriage does not work if you are just good buddies or if there is only passion. Your spouse should be your darling, your lover, friend, companion, and confidant.

The groom compares the bride to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariots. He is not saying she is a horse, but that she is beautiful, special, and chosen. He uses his words to build her up.

Our words have power. We can build someone up with kind words, or we can use harsh words to destroy someone. Harsh words hurt hearts. Any harsh words that come out of our mouths can hurt our spouse, our kids, and other people. Men, it is scary when we get mad in the home. It scares the kids, and possibly, your wife. The prettiest woman in the world gets ugly when she is mean, because harsh words hurt hearts. This does not mean that we will never fight, but we must learn how to have a good fight. When we get upset about things, we must not use our words as bullets aimed at other people. Instead, let’s use our words wisely and kindly to build each other up, to touch the hearts and minds of the ones we love.