Hope After Loss - Leaning on God After Losing a Loved One to AddictionSample

How Do I Go On?

We spent so much time trying to help our loved ones. Now there is a huge hole in our lives. Holidays will never be the same. Birthdays and death days will come around and strangle our hearts. People will say hurtful things to try to help, or some will completely ignore what we are going through and say nothing at all.

When will I ever recover from this?

The truth is, we will never recover. We will learn how to live with chronic pain of the soul. We will put on a brave face, often for the sake of other family members, and go through the motions of what we need to do. We will smile when we feel like screaming, make small talk when we feel like running away, plow through our day when we feel like burrowing in bed and never coming out. And we will get through it one moment at a time, by setting one foot in front of the other, just as a marathon runner tackles a 26.2-mile race one step at a time.

It takes perseverance to continue this difficult race. But we can know that God marked out our course and will give us the strength to keep going every day. Sometimes our feet may falter and we may stumble. Some days pain will seem to overcome us, and our tears will overwhelm us. But we will continue to steadily direct our eyes on Jesus, refusing to give up, keeping grounded in the truth, finding power in his never-ending love, and enduring our pain with hope.

I remember one day several months after Lexi’s death, crying out to God, I just can’t do this! But then I stopped and realized, I was doing it. I was somehow getting through each day, going to school, interacting with my students, taking care of my three kids, and fulfilling my obligations. Somehow, I was putting one foot in front of the other, and even though some days I came home and dissolved into a puddle of grief, God was getting me through. Now that it has been almost five years since I have seen Lexi, the weight of the grief is lighter, and I know that I can still find meaning, purpose, and joy in life.

One thing that has sparked my determination is the love that I have for Lexi. I ask myself, if Lexi were here, how would she want me to live? I can almost see her beside me saying, “Come on, Mom. You got this. Please be happy.” I know she would want me to push forward and try to find joy. She would absolutely hate it if she was the cause of my misery.

And I want her life to count for something. I want to honor her with the way I live. I want to do things in her memory that make a difference in this world. I am thankful that I have been able to serve in the community of Hope is Alive in honor of Lexi. I have friends who make “pay it forward” cards, who organize special hikes, who leave extra tips at restaurants, who put together bags of food for the homeless, or who have created special displays in their homes in honor of their lost loved ones. I know people who are determined to educate others on addiction to help others escape this horrible disease. What was special to your loved one? What could you do in their honor?

And as we go on, we can learn to use the love we have for the person we have lost and turn it into blessings.

We can follow Peter’s words during the time of persecution of the early church. In the midst of our suffering, we can entrust our souls to our faithful Creator and strive to live lives pleasing to Him.

To learn more about Hope After Loss Grief Support Group, go here .

Today's Challenge:
What have you done to honor your loved one with the time you have left on this earth? What will you do to keep their memory alive? These things may stir up a lot of emotions, but in the end they are so rewarding.

Prayer:
God, please give me the strength to keep running the race of life with courage and determination. Thank you for the beautiful memories I have of my loved one, and help me to find ways to keep those memories alive. Help me to use the love I have for them to bless others. Help me to continue to live a life that would make my loved one proud.