Making Room for Her: A Study of the Most Famous In-Law RelationshipSample
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DAY 4
Ruth is hungry. Even if Naomi doesn’t seem to be thinking of the next meal, Ruth knows they need to eat. She asks her mother-in-law’s permission and leaves to go to a field on the outskirts of the city in the second chapter of Ruth. She joins the others who are poor, in the back-breaking work of gathering the scattered grain the harvesters leave behind.
Where is God in this story? His name is hardly mentioned. Yet, a series of “it just so happened” events unfold. The women happen to arrive as the barley harvest begins. Ruth happens to meet Boaz, who happens to be Naomi’s relative. Where is God? We see God everywhere in the book of Ruth. He weaves together every event in the lives of his people for his redemptive purposes in the world.
I (Barb) knew God had called us to missions. Of course, I knew I’d miss my family. I was right; it hurt! I knew culture shock would hit us. I was right; it did. But what I didn’t know shocked and hurt me more as we lived out our daily lives in this new area of the world. Why did a simple comment from my coworker make me so angry? Were her words really that harsh? Where did this fear and guilt come from?
I’d like to say the challenges got easier. That wasn’t God’s plan! Yet, God assured me he was with us.
In all truth, God had extended this invitation to me a few months before we even left for the mission field. I’m not talking about the call to be a missionary. I’m talking about becoming a mother-in-law! My son Ben had stood at the altar beaming at Stacy. I had rejoiced that they were starting a new life together. I knew his relationship with his new bride would take precedence over me, his mother. But boy did I underestimate the cost of living so far away from this new daughter-in-law.
“Help, God.”
God did not leave me to figure it out. He heard my cry for help and came to me. God “just so happened” to give me challenges with coworkers the same time he gave my marriage a new work to do in missions.
God “just so happened” to give me a new daughter-in-law the same time he moved me across the ocean.
None of this was by chance or coincidence. Just like in Ruth’s and Naomi’s story, God did not make a mistake. God knew the best way to show his glory and goodness to Stacy and me was to allow the challenges of our relationship to increase.
No matter how the challenges are increasing for you and your in-law, none of it “just so happened.” God is the one behind the scenes, lining all the circumstances up just so. He is doing this to help you lean into him. To help you learn how to love like he does. To change you into the image of his Son.
For reflection:
- What challenges or blessings in your life feel like they “just so happened”?
- In what ways is God clearly at work in these situations?
About this Plan
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No matter your age or stage, every daughter-in-law and mother-in-law needs help navigating their relationship sometimes. Whether the struggle is one of feeling unseen, unheard, or unvalued, authors and in-laws Barbara and Stacy Reaoch have been there, and as they’ve put the Bible’s wisdom to practice over the years, they’ve found that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law really can thrive in the midst of difficulty.
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