Rules for the RoadSample

Day 5: Don't Carry Unnecessary Baggage

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank you for the wisdom you’ve given us in your word. Give me the wisdom to know what to do with it and the courage to do it.

Reading:

Rule number five is: don't carry unnecessary baggage.

If you carry too much baggage on a trip, it slows you down. It weighs you down. There's always a temptation to overpack on a road trip. And on a road trip, it's not a big deal, but on a life trip, it's a really big deal.

Unnecessary baggage will slow you down. And it will slow everyone down in your family and those around you who are trying to do life with you. Our baggage is the stuff from the past that keeps showing up in the present. If not dealt with, it will continue to show up in the future. Baggage actually empowers our past to define our future. It detours us from our destination of choice.

Are you carrying any unnecessary baggage? We should all take a look because we've all been hurt, we've all been betrayed, we've all been left out, and we've all been neglected. Some of us were forced to parent a parent because our parent was incapable. Maybe you had to forgo a career to move back home to care for a parent, and there's stuff that left you angry. Perhaps your past has left you vulnerable or suspicious of others. It's hard not to carry these past hurts along with us. After all, they’re part of our story. But we all know deep inside that it's best to unpack our past and leave it behind. The reason we know this is because we want the people we're doing life with to unpack theirs and leave their past behind when it begins to complicate our life.

But if you don't deal with your demons, they go into the cellar of your soul, and they lift weights. And they get bigger and stronger. And the thing that's so deceiving is the event itself gets further and further behind as you move forward, but, over time, the consequences and the shrapnel get bigger and bigger and deeper and deeper. Some of us can even lose sight of the source of the anger, bitterness, or angst.

This is probably what Paul had in mind when he said to Christians in the city of Ephesus:

“In your anger do not sin; Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

– Ephesians 4:26–27

Paul was saying: Look, you can't help but get angry sometimes, but if you're a Jesus follower, be angry, but don't sin. Figure out how to separate yourself in a healthy way from what made you angry. Don’t let it complicate your life. Don't let the sun go down while you're still angry. And don't give the devil space—or don't give the devil space in your luggage. Don't give bitterness, resentment, fear, or anger a place in your luggage when you carry it around over and over.

Got any demons down there lifting weights? Are you carrying unnecessary baggage? If you're not sure, ask the people closest to you. They know. They know because they have to help you carry it. They have to navigate your overreactions or your moods. They have to avoid certain topics because every time they surface, you just escalate. And the fact that they don't talk about it . . . You think you're fine, but you’re not. The people who love you the most will look for you to unpack that stuff or to find someone to help you unpack that stuff.

Also in his letter to the Ephesians, Paul put it more directly:

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

– Ephesians 4:31–32

Paul said to get rid of it all. Leave behind the bitterness, rage, anger, and every form of malice. And then he tells us how. And it's so simple that it seems simplistic. Paul says you do it by forgiving each other. This is how you get rid of bitterness and anger: You find out the source, you unpack it, and you forgive. It can be tempting to offer an objection to Paul here. Well, Paul, you don’t know my story. You don’t know what I’ve endured. But Paul continues by saying, you are to forgive just as in Christ, God forgave you.

We don't forgive because people deserve to be forgiven. They may not deserve it. But then neither did we. We forgive because we've been forgiven. We cancel other people's debts because God, through Christ, cancelled our debt. And here's the trick to all this . . . When you're hurt, it creates a debtor relationship. The hurt, the betrayal, the abandonment, or whatever it might be creates a debt—they owe me a childhood, they owe me a first marriage back, they owe me the opportunity to put my kids in bed at night, they owe me an education. And the debt they owe you becomes your baggage. You carry it around waiting to be paid back.

The problem is that people from our past can't really pay us back. We all come equipped with rearview mirrors, but no reverse. They can't go back in time and give you your childhood back. They can’t give you that marriage back, or an opportunity back, or a career back. So, get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, along with every form of malice. Close those accounts. Tell your demons: "I'm closing the gym." The demons will complain, but over time, their voices will grow weaker and weaker. It's not fair to forgive, but it's not about fairness. This is about your freedom—to cancel those debts, unpack all that stuff, choose to forgive. Don’t carry unnecessary baggage. 

If you're not a Jesus follower, all these rules for life can apply to you. But if you're a Jesus follower, God has a plan for you. He has good things for you. These rules for the road are about getting our lives in sync with him. Follow them, and you’ll reach your destination on time and on purpose.

Reflection:

Are you carrying any unnecessary baggage? How would the people closest to you answer this question? What will you do to deal with your past so it doesn’t prevent you from reaching your destination?