Day 25

Winning Together

“There’s no way I’m going to share about my struggle with porn and masturbation! I’ve worked hard to keep this secret.”

This was my friend Blake’s attitude when someone told him freedom requires confession and vulnerability about his sin. He describes how he was trying to overcome his struggle on his own: “I was trying to get free all by myself. I thought I would eventually have enough willpower to get free. I was wrong. Dead wrong.”

He goes on to share the fear that kept him in the shadows, saying, “I just wasn’t quite ready to tell people that I had messed up and risk having to tell them that I messed up again, and again, and again. It was just easier to not talk about it. I was so afraid of what people might think of me. I didn’t want them to see my weakness.”

“But what I didn’t know is that being real with other guys would not be some necessary evil,” Blake concludes.

“Being honest about my struggle would actually be one of the most refreshing exercises of my life.”

“It was amazing, like drinking cool water on a hot desert day. It felt good just to get it out there. It was with a group of guys I felt safe with and I knew they wouldn’t judge me...and they didn’t. They encouraged me and applauded me for my courage to share.”

What Blake discovered is what everyone who ever gets free from any addiction discovers. We win together. After over thirty years of helping people break free from sexual bondage, Dr. Ted Roberts says that less than 5% of people experience the miracle of immediate deliverance from this sin. The rest experience a ‘miracle’ every day on their way to freedom. 

Blake experienced the miracle of authentic community. It was life-changing for him. He points to it as the turning point in his pursuit of freedom. James 5:16 is worth repeating; it says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” Sharing our sins with others is where healing begins. Confessing doesn’t just bring healing to the one confessing but also to the hearer.

You see, a year before Blake got the courage to share, he was in a small group where a guy opened up and shared his struggle with porn. Blake was shocked and thought to himself, “I could never do that.” He was also relieved to know that he wasn’t the only Christian leader who struggled with porn. This man modeled vulnerability that eventually bore fruit in Blake’s life. He was helping Blake win. Don’t underestimate how God can use your vulnerability to encourage others to come out of the shadows.

We have an enemy who wants to divide and conquer, and that is exactly what he is doing. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

We’ve all seen those wildlife programs where the gazelle gets chased and devoured by the lion. The lion seeks to isolate the gazelle from the rest of the pack. It is his strategy. This is the image that the Bible uses to tell us about our enemy.

Satan uses shame to make us think we are the only ones who struggle like we do. Not true. Don’t believe the lie that if others really knew your struggle they would reject you. Christian friends who are safe will do the opposite. We win together!

Today’s Challenge:  

1. Read 2 Timothy 2:22.   
2. Answer the reflection questions.

“Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” - 2 Timothy 2:22

Reflection Questions:  

1. Why do you think Paul says to flee?  
2. Based on what we are learning, why do you think Paul included “with those…”?  
3. Who is a safe person you need to share your struggle with?

Just read this post from a FF group celebrating a team win:

“Just want to shout out to our Freedom Fight group! One of our guys, continuing the fight and growing in vulnerability, let us know this past weekend was going to be a tough one! He was staring down another weekend with his wife at work and a lot of alone time. Instead of isolating, he reached out and we just dogpiled him this weekend with accountability texts and phone calls! Guess what? He made it through the weekend relapse-free! I love this group of guys and where we are headed! The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, it’s connection!”

That’s winning together!

How are your holy habits?

#1 Confession
#2 Bible Reading and Prayer
#3 Use and practice BRACE
#4 Check in with accountability