Finding Great FriendsNäide

External reminders that show you pay attention will be cherished by true friends. I love that a couple of friends know how inadequate I am in choosing clothing for my body type and putting together great outfits, so they go out of their way to compliment me when I do well. That’s encouraging! I love that another friend knows my favorite homemade desserts and always makes one for me for my birthday. These are moments that excite and encourage me.

But don’t cheat yourself. If my birthday-treat friend only knew how much I love her lemon bars, it would be a very shallow relationship! Please, share more of yourself with those you want to become great friends with than the name of your favorite restaurant or the store you can’t walk by. 

When you find a person you think will be a good friend, then you need to be open and honest with them. You can’t hide who you are and expect other people to feel close to you. Great friendships are built over time, and intimacy grows as feelings, hopes, and fears are shared. 

I’m not saying you have to confess your darkest secret at your second dinner together. But I am encouraging you to purposely and consistently share a little more of yourself. Yes, you are risking pain. The one sitting across from you might let you down. But if you refuse to share yourself, you’ll never know the joy and love God has planned for you in solid Christian relationships.