Find Freedom from Shame – Part I

Shame is one of the most imprisoning human emotions ― everybody experiences it, but nobody wants to talk about it.

Whether caused by falling short of personally held standards or as a result of an experience beyond our control, shame seems impossible to shrug off. We may have failed morally or in business, or perhaps been subjected to a situation we were powerless to overcome.

Regardless of its cause, tragically, shame is often accompanied by destructive behaviours such as addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide and eating disorders.

The Genesis account reveals that shame is not a recent phenomenon; it has been around since Adam and Eve. Genesis describes four ways we cope with shame which, fascinatingly, match the assessment of modern-day psychologists.

1. Avoidance. We do not like the feeling of shame, so we do what we can to avoid it. In Genesis, Adam and Eve realised they were naked, did not like the feeling, so covered up with fig leaves. Similarly, we avoid our shame by pushing it out of sight or mind, perhaps numbing our feelings with substances, shutting down emotionally, or talking about ‘anything but’.
2. Withdrawal: We withdraw from uncomfortable situations. Adam and Eve ran away from God and tried to hide. Today, we cope poorly by withdrawing from friendships, or hide behind digital devices, busy schedules or public personas.
3. Attacking self: The shame within speaks, telling us something is wrong with us. Adam admitted, “I was afraid because I was naked. We often echo this with, ‘I’m such an idiot’, ‘I should have done something to prevent it’, ‘I should have known better’, ‘It’s my fault.’
4. Attacking others: We blame, slander and point the finger at others to avoid facing our shame. Adam shifted blame to ‘the woman you (God) gave to me’; Eve in turn said, ‘the serpent deceived me.’ We deflect shame by suggesting we are not to blame for how we are. Rather, it is the fault of our parents, spouse, siblings or maybe the boss at work.

If God had done nothing to address our shame, the Bible would be one of the shortest and saddest books in history. However, the beautiful truth of this Genesis story is that, knowing that Adam and Eve had messed up, doing what they should have never done, God does not remove himself or keep his distance. He comes looking for them.

Shame can stop us from drawing near to God, but it does not stop God from drawing near to us. He loves you! He is for you! When our sin is great, His love is greater! There is a future for you!