Aftershock - Can I Trust My Emotions?Sample

Identifying and Understanding Your Emotions

There are five basic emotions: mad, bad, sad, glad, and afraid. Since it’s safe to assume that “glad” isn’t one of the emotions you’re experiencing right now, we’ll look at the remaining four.

Let’s start with anger.

It’s only natural for you to feel mad at your husband; he has betrayed you and destroyed your trust. The Bible acknowledges that anger is a normal emotion, but it also warns us not to give it a foothold in our lives: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26-27).

It’s important to recognize that there are two types of angry responses:

1. Healthy, protective, and righteous anger. This is the kind of anger we need in the face of sin or injustice – for example, the anger Jesus experienced when He threw the corrupt money changers out of the Temple.

2. Destructive anger. This type of anger is involved when people respond inappropriately or in sinful ways, multiplying the damage as they retaliate and exact revenge.

You may be completely justified in feeling righteous anger. But if ungodly reactions have a grip on you, you’re in danger. This volatile state of mind is fertile ground for two of the most damaging by-products of destructive anger to grow: revenge and bitterness.

Seeking revenge can feel good – for a while. You may be so wounded that you feel tempted to ruin your husband’s reputation, career, and friendships. Or to pull your children into the conflict and turn them against their father. Or even to have an affair yourself. Be careful! Women who act out these vengeful thoughts inevitably regret it. Revengeful actions only intensify pain and create more chaos.

Maybe you aren’t seeking revenge, but you feel deep bitterness. The Bible speaks clearly on this issue: “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:15).

God wants to comfort you, to heal you, and to restore you. Ask Him for the grace to respond to your anger in a healthy way.

Next, we’ll look more closely at feeling bad or ashamed.