Poor Me! Sample

Change Focus

The truth is, self-pity is a choice. We are the ones who choose our thoughts. Feeling sorry for ourselves makes us self-absorbed, and that’s a life of misery. No one wants to be around us, and we’re useless to the kingdom of God.

So the second step to getting off the self-pity train and onto the victorious overcomer train is to: Change Focus.

Webster’s definition of self-pity is “a self-indulgent dwelling on one's own sorrows or misfortunes.” Focusing on our troubles makes us prisoner to them. When we spend all our time dwelling on how bad the situation is, how unfair things are, and how tough we have it, it causes us to lose sight of everything else going on—our gifts and callings, the needs of others, God’s rich blessings and promises. 

The only thing that’s helped me snap out of it is to change focus. Psalm 121:1 says, “I look up to the hills from whence cometh my strength…my strength comes from the Lord.” Look up! My strength comes from God! Instead of dwelling on the troubles, I’ve had to change my thoughts to dwell on God—His greatness and everything He’s done for me in Christ.

For me, that means daily reading His Word, meditating on His promises. Psalm 103 gives us a template: Bless the Lord, O my soul…forget not all His benefits: who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, who satisfies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s (vv. 1-5).

Instead of thinking about your troubles, go ahead and bless Him! He’s forgiven you, healed you, and saved you from hell! He loves you, provides for you, and energizes you! It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you’re focusing on all those good things.

Yes, it takes effort to change your focus. But it’s so much better than holding a daily pity party! 

So when hard things happen, I might cry and mope for a short time, but I don’t let it consume my life. I can’t change the past, but when I refuse self-pity I can change my future by keeping my eyes on God who has brought me the victory. You can too!