Challenging ConversationsSample

Challenging Conversations About Mental Health

There are a number of issues that can cause or contribute to mental health problems. Therefore, it’s not proper to say that mental illness and depression are rooted in spiritual issues. Mental health is not one dimensional—it will affect the body, soul, and mind. 

Solomon, the wisest man on earth, said a person with a “crushed spirit” can’t get through it alone. Pray that you become an advocator to those in your life who need help through developing the ability to relate, investigate, and translate.  No matter how ill equipped you feel, the following steps will feed your brain and boost your confidence to not judge Christians with mental health issues but to befriend them in the truth and grace of Christ.

Tactic one is to relate, to personalize the situation, and it’s best to do so gently, especially if the person is showing vulnerability. If you have suffered from depression or some other mental health issue, your empathy will be apparent. But even if you haven’t shared this struggle, other prominent persons of faith have—C. S. Lewis, Mother Teresa, and John Wesley as well as beloved biblical figures like Job, David, Jeremiah, and Hannah each articulated their battle with emotional health. In most cases, the suffering authenticated their relationship with God. This is often overlooked by the church. What you’re doing is reminding another that they are in good company and are not alone. You’re not labeling someone; you’re relating to them.

With tactic two, we investigate and ask questions with compassion and sensitivity. For example, if you sense there is something deeply wrong with your friend, don’t ask, “What’s wrong with you?” It’s essential to keep in mind that the vast majority of people with a mental illness will not ask the church for help for fear of being marginalized. Thus, a question to ask is whether the church is helping them with their mental condition. If not, do what you can to connect them with church leadership. 

Tactic three encourages us to translate or harmonize the discussion. You are not providing a solution; you are giving yourself in a way to help the other stay the course in order to receive help and to heal. Be faithful. Know your limitations and anticipate setbacks. But don’t let setbacks set you up to be a disappointment to your friend.

Honestly ask yourself: am I afraid to help another who is struggling emotionally or mentally? Ask God to make you empathetic, brave, and wise.