Loving Well in a Broken World by Lauren CasperSample

Years ago, I remember an older woman at church answering the question of how we could be better at reaching out to young women who feel left out of church events. In a slightly sing-songy voice she said, “I always say, if you want to have a friend you need to be a friend!” Her point being, the responsibility of reaching out was on those who felt left out. I winced at her words. She didn’t realize it, but at the time I considered myself one of those young women who felt left out. I was struggling to connect, had grown weary of waiting on the outskirts, and had just about given up. Maybe it’s natural to assume that people who want to find friends will actively reach out to others, but for some of us, and during certain seasons of life, that can feel impossibly hard. . . .

It’s up to us, all of us, to look out and reach out to one another. It’s up to us to always leave room in our lives for one more person. It’s up to us to pay attention to who isn’t there.

Who isn’t represented in our churches?

Who comes on Sunday mornings but never attends the picnics or dinners?

Who is absent from the field trips and school recitals?

Who avoids book club?

Who doesn’t show up at the BBQ or service project or conferences and retreats?

Have we made room for others? Have we extended an invitation and then welcomed them with open arms and no strings attached? Or do we huddle up with the same people day after day and tell ourselves that if anyone wants or needs anything from us, they’ll ask? . . . We put the duty of reaching out on others instead of taking responsibility for our neighbors, particularly those we don’t immediately see.