Loving Your Wife Well By Matt JacobsonSample

Day Six

A Sign of Strength

Scripture: Colossians 3:13

Wouldn’t it be great if after saying “I do!” and exchanging rings, you never made another mistake, never did something to hurt your wife, or never chose to sin for the rest of your life? 

But marriage doesn’t really work out like that, does it? When men sin against their wives, many of them take the coward’s way out. And what is that? They say a simple “I’m sorry” and move on quickly. This isn’t good enough, and it’s not really repenting. It’s more like ducking for cover. 

When was the last time you and your wife saw things differently? When was the last time you went back and forth and the discussion got a little heated (pride on display), maybe even a little hot? You just knew you were right, and there she was, not budging an inch! But then some more light was shed on the subject—a little bit of new information—and suddenly the truth became clear to you both. 

She was right and you were wrong.

And what happened then?

All too often this becomes the moment when you steer the conversation away from the discussion at hand and never mention it again. But this is wrong. This is prideful. This is sinful. 

Admitting that you are wrong feels like weakness to your flesh, but that’s what’s interesting about humbling yourself. It doesn’t make you weaker. It speaks to your strength—your willingness and security in yourself to admit when you are wrong and acknowledge to your wife that she was, indeed, right on this one. 

To walk in true repentance with your wife, openly and humbly acknowledge your offense without qualifying statements (justification) as to why you did what you did. With a sincere tone, express your sorrow for what you did and how it made your spouse feel. Never say, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” And remember, saying “I’m sorry” is never enough. You have to humbly ask, “Will you please forgive me for (name the offense)?” 

Your marriage will take a big step forward when your wife comes to realize you care more about truth than about your own pride. 

Is there anything you need to apologize to your wife for today? If so, how could you be specific and humble in your apology?