Navigating Teenage RebellionNäide

Day 5: Let the Consequences be Their Teacher

Don’t bail your teenagers from the natural consequences of their decisions. Pain can be a great teacher. Let the pain reign. We often told our children, “Choices have consequences, so choose very carefully.” Sometimes it was hard to watch our children experience the outcome of their choices. Parents often want to save their children from pain. This takes away the great lesson of “cause and effect” which runs throughout all of life. Age brings experience, and experience brings wisdom and learning. The Word of God states that trials bring about the perfecting of our character. (See James 1.) Well, let some of that “perfecting” begin.

Author John Maxwell writes about the importance of learning by “Failing Forward.”

A toddler repeatedly falls in his attempt to learn to walk; yet we would never shame him for falling. We cheer him on. As our teens fall in their attempt to grow up, we must speak life-giving truths into their hearts. Our teens need to know that we love and believe in them no matter how hard they fall. We don’t love the sin, but we do love and root for the sinner. God shows us unconditional love. We can be a reflection of that love to our teens. This takes a lot of patience, wisdom, and maybe even some boundaries. 

We prayed over what consequences and boundaries we needed to enforce. We also decided to use that season as a great opportunity to study the book of Proverbs to learn the consequences of foolish living versus wise living. Our entire family was affected by our teens’ choices. In the end, this difficult chapter brought our family closer than I could have imagined. The consequences were real, but so was the love wrapped around them.