The Sacred Search by Gary ThomasSample

“Life-Giving Love”

So let’s briefly introduce the “why” of marriage to set you up to make a wise choice about the “who.” A home established on Matthew 6:33 is a glorious thing. While this verse contains a command, it’s also an exciting promise of a rich and meaningful life. When husband and wife are committed in Christ, growing together in the Lord, supporting each other in their spiritual walks, raising children in the fear of the Lord, loving each other out of reverence for God, joy abounds and miracles happen. Selfish people become servants. Self-centered children grow up to become workers in God’s kingdom. Strangers become intimate friends. Daily life is filled with the drama of kingdom building. There are plenty of mistakes, lots of repenting, times of frustration, sickness, and even doubts. But in the end, God’s presence prevails, people are transformed, kingdom work is accomplished, and trials are overcome. If two people join themselves around this mission—if they make their marital choice based on the best person with whom they can accomplish this mission—they are far more likely to have a fulfilling and soul-building marriage.

On the other hand, I’ve witnessed how miserable people can make each other when they live for themselves. Though their initial sexual attraction might have been off the charts, it is usually only a matter of months until they are saying and doing awful, awful things to each other, so awful that they will call a pastor on the phone, someone they don’t even know, because they are so desperate to find another way to live. There was a time when they couldn’t live without each other; every second, they had to be together. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Now they can’t bear to live together. When they’re in the same room, or in the same car, or on the same telephone call, they can’t stop fighting.

Such problems usually erupt from trying to build a life together without purpose, without mission, without something that not only establishes a connection but keeps you caring about each other for the next fifty to sixty years.

* What is the difference between a Matthew 6:33 marriage and a marriage which stems only from initial physical/sexual attraction? If you are married or simply dating, are you a couple with a purpose, on mission for God?