Squad GoalsSample

Have you ever taken an inventory of what you actually talk about with your friends? It’s so easy to fill conversations with the weather, sports, or the latest political drama. But here’s the thing—while you’re talking about who’s winning or losing on TV, your friend might be silently losing the battle for their own peace. Why talk about sports when your friend is going through a divorce? Why debate government policies when your friend is battling depression or anxiety?

The fourth squad goal is desperately needed for you and your friends: Be willing to have tough conversations.

We all have “that friend” who’s walking through something that desperately needs a tough conversation—but they’ve made it hard for anyone to say something.

Maybe it’s the friend who’s starting to drink a little too much, a little too often. You’ve seen it go from a casual thing to something that’s clearly affecting their health, their decisions, or their relationships.

Or it’s the friend who has anger issues—someone who lashes out at everyone around them, leaving a trail of hurt feelings and broken trust. You’ve watched it damage their friendships, their family, and maybe even their career, but no one seems willing to bring it up.

Or maybe it’s the friend who’s so distracted chasing work or hobbies that they’re neglecting the people who matter most. They’re not showing up for their spouse, their kids, or even their closest friends. You see it, but you don’t know how to tell them they’re slowly losing the relationships that really matter.

Don’t be “that friend.” Don’t be the person who’s so fragile or defensive that no one feels safe enough to be honest with you. And don’t shy away from being the person who brings up the hard stuff with the people you love.

Here’s the thing: it’s not enough to surround yourself with the right people. You need to be having the right conversations. Be willing to go beyond the surface and talk about things that matter. The Bible says,“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses”(Proverbs 27:5-6). True friendship isn’t about avoiding discomfort—it’s about speaking the truth in love, even when it’s hard.

The worst feeling is when a friend tells you they’re splitting up with their spouse, and you didn’t even know their marriage was in trouble. You were hanging out with them, talking about everythingthe most important thing in their world. Sometimes, all it takes is one question: “Hey, how’s your marriage these days?” That one question could open the door for them to be honest, to find support, or even to begin the process of healing.

Be willing to have the uncomfortable conversations that others avoid. You might be thinking, “But I wouldn’t even know what to say.” Perfect. You don’t have to. Most people don’t need a perfect response—they just need someone who’s willing to listen. If they wanted a therapist, they’d go find one. What they need is a friend.

Friendships often dissolve not because of big blowups but because of unresolved offenses that pile up over time. The good news? Resolving an issue is almost always faster and easier than starting over with a new friendship. Address your issues early and as often as they come up. Don’t sweep things under the rug.

Ask God for wisdom to know the difference between something you need to bring up and something you need to let go. Not every friend will respond well to tough conversations—and that’s okay. You can’t control how someone else reacts. You can only control how you approach those conversations. Here’s the deal: how you respond to someone’s honesty the first time will determine if they ever feel safe being honest with you again.

So here’s the question: Who in your life do you need to have a tough conversation with? Who in your squad is heading down a path that’s paralyzing their future? Speak up. They might not like it today, but chances are, one day, they’ll look back and thank you for it.