When Forgiving Is Too HardSample

You Can Change Your Mind

In my book, “I Forgive You, But….” I talk about principles of forgiveness, then have the reader meditate on God’s Word about it, and then have them write down who they forgave and when. That way, when the thoughts and feelings come crashing back (and they usually do!) causing someone to think, “Oh no, I didn’t forgive!” they can point to what they’ve written and say, “Too late, devil – I already forgave them. It’s done. Now my feelings have to line up with what the Bible says.”

That’s a normal process for anyone who chooses to forgive. Don’t let the feelings fool you. Sometimes it takes a while to renew your mind to forgiveness, and your feelings often have to catch up.

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” The Living Bible says: “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will satisfy you.”

The world tells us to hold a grudge — make someone pay for what they’ve done; get revenge! But we can see that the Bible says don’t conform to that way of thinking — don’t copy it. Instead, be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Be transformed.

When we renew (change) our minds to think of forgiveness the way God does, it can change the condition of a hurting heart. It’s just changing our thoughts to agree with God’s thoughts, by reading and doing his Word. In Isaiah 55:9, God says, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

God’s not saying to us, “Ha ha, my thoughts are higher than yours!” He’s saying, “Come on up and think like I think — this is where the freedom is!” He can help us change our minds to the point where forgiveness becomes second nature to us and we can live a life of freedom and joy.