Finding Hope: A Plan for Loved Ones of AddictsSample

Day 7: So Now What?

I hope you’ve come to the point of admitting that your loved one has a problem, that you may have contributed to it by enabling them, and now you want them to find the help they need. You may even think that you can push them or coax them toward that help, maybe through persuasion or by intimidating them with an ultimatum.

Unfortunately, that’s usually not the case. No, most addicts, myself included, have to find their own reason to get help. You’ve probably heard it called “hitting rock bottom.”

What does “rock bottom” look like? After working with hundreds of addicts the past few years I can confidently say… I have no idea.

I really don't! I have found no way to identify whether someone has hit rock bottom or not. Rock bottom is different for everyone.

But we loved ones can help someone find their rock bottom. It is possible. We can say “enough is enough”.

• We can take away privileges, money, and freedom.
• We can force treatment, change the locks, and turn off the phone.
• We can fire someone, cut them out of the family business, ban them from our facility, or look at them right in the eyes and tell them that today is the day something changes.

If you’re telling yourself you should wait to intervene until your loved one hits rock bottom, I urge you to stop. You have a say in defining rock bottom. So why not here? Why not now?

There’s nowhere to go but up.

Parent’s Perspective: Wendell Lang

I knew so little about addiction when we got involved with Lance’s recovery process. God graced our family by providentially getting us in touch with people who directed us to a recovery facility that God used in a mighty way. The detox process is horrible for both the family and the client, but the necessary pain is essential for healing.

Detox is necessary to rid the body of impurities and toxins, because these poisons must be removed before recovery is possible. The Bible uses a word for the detoxing process: purity. The meaning is to be utterly sincere, honestly transparent. Purity means to be clean. The word Jesus used was katharizo, from which we get our word “catharsis.” Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure...” A better meaning of purity means to be unmixed or undiluted. Pure gold doesn’t have any mixture of other metals. This spirit of undivided loyalty will allow our body to operate as intended.

Lance going to treatment was a time of anxiety, fear, and yes, hope. Hope has become the mantra for our family, and the first shred of hope began to crystalize throughout the treatment process.

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Resources for drug & alcohol treatment can be found here...