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The Royal Family: King David and Absalom

Fathers play an important role in children's development and the family's well-being. Sons and daughters need their father’s attention and presence in similar ways; they need the same from their mother. Even so, adult children are free to make choices in life that aren’t consistent with what they learned as children.

This can be challenging when the father is also a leader. When a father leads outside the home, both fathers and sons face unique circumstances. The story of King David and his son Absalom brings this truth to the fore.

David was considered an unlikely candidate by his brothers and family, but the Lord said to the prophet Samuel, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” Samuel anointed him when David arrived at his father’s house from the fields where he was tending sheep.

One of the first things David did on his journey in leadership was defeat Goliath.

But victory on the battlefield didn’t necessarily win favor from all quarters for David. King Saul felt jealousy instead. David’s popularity grew, and King Saul’s popularity began to diminish.

Over the course of history, as King Saul saw God’s hand on David, he became more afraid, became David’s enemy, and planned to have him killed (1 Samuel 18 and 19). After many years of tension between the two, King Saul began to lose battles left and right and lost a final battle at Mount Gilboa. He saw the enemy approaching, fell on his own sword, and died.

Following his death, David was anointed king over Israel and was given promises from the Lord at the beginning of his reign (2 Samuel 7:11-17).

While David was in Hebron, he had six children with different women. Tragedy began to unfold in the royal family when King David encountered Bathsheba. He desired her, sent for her, and lay with her. Soon after that encounter, Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite, became pregnant with David’s child.

The king sent Uriah to the front line of the battle, intending for him to lose his life. Uriah died in a fierce battle, and David took Bathsheba for his wife. In due time, Bathsheba gave birth to a son who died shortly after his birth (2 Samuel 11-12).

Trouble continued. Amnon, David’s firstborn son, fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom, another son of David, and the stepsister of Amnon. Amnon seduced Tamar, but she refused to have sex with her half-brother Amnon. He refused to listen to the pleas of Tamar and raped her. Following the rape, Amnon developed a hatred for Tamar and sent her away.

Absalom learned about the rape from Tamar but took no action other than developing a deep hatred for Amnon. When King David heard about this, he was furious but took no action in response.

Two years later, Absalom developed a plot with his brothers to murder Amnon. He successfully carried out his plan, and following the murder, he fled while all the other brothers rode to be with King David. Absalom stayed in Geshur for three years (2 Samuel 13:1-38).

King David loved Amnon and grieved his son's death and his sons' involvement in this tragedy.