Thriving the Holidays: Practical Hope for Families of AddictsMuestra

What are your expectations during the holidays?

Last time I asked you to write down any feelings or anxious thoughts you might have about the upcoming holidays. I also wanted you to begin praying for God to guide and direct you through this holiday season. Today we will be focusing on our expectations during the holidays.

Maybe you’ve heard this phrase:

“Unrealistic expectations lead to realistic disappointments.”

What does that mean to you?

Unrealistic expectations can rob us from enjoying and appreciating the blessings that are already in front of us. We need to remember that no matter how much we plan, plead, and beg, our family may not change just because the holidays are here. This year's holidays may look and feel different than they have in the past; we have to accept that and still find joy during the season.

As we dwell in the holiday season, think about your expectations. Write them out and then go back and reread them to determine if they are realistic or not. If you determine that they are realistic, what is your plan to communicate your expectations to your family? If, however, you determine your expectations are unrealistic, then what do you need to change? If you have the opportunity or availability, reach out to a trusted friend or loved one to talk through your expectations—and whether anything in them needs to change.

Here are a few tips from those in recovery for families to know as they approach the holidays being clean and sober:

• Love your loved one wherever they are. Encourage and praise them for their accomplishments, no matter how small.
• Don’t bring up the past and don’t ask a lot of questions about the future. Addicts in recovery are taught to focus on one day at a time.