The Best of FriendsMuestra

The Inner Circle

Jesus is our perfect example in every aspect of life, and friendship is no exception. As we explore the kinds of friendships Jesus enjoyed when He walked the earth, we learn how we might manage and maintain deep and lasting friendships too.

Luke 6:12-16 records Jesus going up a mountain to pray there all night. The next morning He chooses His twelve disciples. We see, in Jesus’ actions, a direct link between prayer and people. If friendship wasn’t extremely important to Jesus, He surely wouldn’t have spent a whole night praying about it. How incredible that, like Jesus did, you get to ask your Heavenly Father to connect you with the people you need, and who need you, in each season of life – and you can trust Him to choose well. He knows best!

In John 15:12-17, Jesus urges His disciples to love one another and lay themselves down for one another – just as He would do for them. He also explains that He no longer calls them servants, but friends. There’s no other record in the first century of a rabbi referring to his disciples as friends. Jesus’ statement would’ve been startling – even scandalous – to His disciples. Yet this was clearly an important paradigm through which Jesus wanted His followers to understand their connection to Him.

Jesus didn’t just show us how to treat our friends. He was also intentional about making and maintaining friendships, modelling where and how to invest our (limited) relational energy. Some would go so far as to say that perhaps Jesus’ greatest miracle wasn’t the feeding of the 5000 but rather having twelve close friends in His thirties. Anthropologist and psychologist Robin Dunbar investigated how many relationships we can realistically maintain, emotionally and physically. Apparently, we can know and be known by around 150 people – the ‘outer limit’ of our relational connections. We can be good friends with around twelve to fifteen people, great friends with about three people, and best friends with one. Jesus’ good friends were His twelve disciples. His great friends were Peter, James, and John. His bestfriend was John. Maybe you find it hard to understand that Jesus picked, above others, a small handful of inner-circle friends. But again, Jesus was modelling something. We simply can’t give all our friends the same amount of time and attention. We need to focus our relational energy on our inner circle. So, who are the people God is calling you to invest more time with? And who do you perhaps need to spend less time with?

Jesus modelled the friendship habit of inviting His closest friends to share in the peaks and troughs of His earthly life. When you receive fantastic news, text a close friend and allow them the privilege of rejoicing with you. When your soul is overwhelmed, don’t isolate yourself. Reach out. Begin to include your inner circle in the highs and lows of your life, be secure in the truth that Jesus Himself calls you His friend and offers the very best example of how to form friendships and allow them to flourish.