Bible and the Brain: A Devotional for Tbi SurvivorsMuestra

Memory Verse: Psalm 49:15 - But God will rescue me from the power of death.

Remember yesterday when I said I almost died?

Well, I didn't, but I felt like I wanted to. After my TBI (traumatic brain injury), I wanted to die. I felt like I had no other purpose in this life. I walked funny, talked funny, and couldn't remember a thing. I was on so many medications I didn't know whether I was coming or going. My head was swollen and painful, and the staples made it hard to sleep. The screws in my skull were causing some weather-related forces to take over any sensation I had left, and my muscles were spasming all the time. The right side of my body felt like a dead zone. Nope, I didn't ask for this. And I was angry. Angry at everything and everyone. Angry at myself.

When I truly decided to dig beneath the surface, there was a lot of hurt and pain. Trauma felt like the most overused word to me, but that's what I was suffering from—lots of it. Every bit of pain or heartache I didn't want to let go of in my personal and professional life almost took me out.

Bottom Line: Something had to change. I had to make a choice. Deep down, I knew there was more beyond this life.

2 Corinthians 4:18 (CEV) Things that are seen don't last forever, but things that are not seen are eternal. This is why we keep our minds on the things that cannot be seen.

I could keep doing what I had been doing (insanity), or I could do something different. The changes in my life happened gradually, but I knew my relationship with God had to be fixed before any other relationships would work.

Looking back, I realized I was stubborn, but God wasn't forceful. He was a loving Father who didn't want to see me kill myself because of my pride.

Don't let pride or anger separate you from the love of God.