Be the One: Work

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21).

One final way to be the one is to realize that good relationships won’t occur naturally; we have to work. The only natural thing after the start of a relationship is a break-up; everything else must be intentional. Relationships cannot take a natural course because we are sinful human beings.

Our marriage vows are being said by someone whose natural inclination is to do the opposite! Being the one is realizing that relationships take work to start and even more work to maintain. In the heat of temptation to break my vows, I realize that saying the vows doesn’t make me capable; it only makes me accountable. Everything about a relationship with the opposite sex must be intentional. And intentional is spelled W-O-R-K!

Ephesians chapter five describes the work involved in mutual submission. Loving, respecting, giving, and nurturing are some of the characteristics of the work of building a lasting marriage, of two people truly becoming one. And the same text tells us that the result of that work presents a beautiful and mysterious picture of Christ and the Church to the world around us.

We are called to serve one another in love (Galatians 5:13). And we need to equip ourselves for this task. There are many resources available that can equip us to do the work of love. And the wise spouse will do whatever it takes to build a godly relationship. Proverbs 4:7 says: “Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” May God give you the wisdom to become the one he means for you to be.

Reflection

Prayerfully make a list of resources available to help you prepare for future dating and/or marriage (church workshops, books to read, retreats, etc.). Ask God to direct you to one resource that you can begin to take advantage of now.

This content was adapted from a book by Ernest and Waturi Wamboye. To learn more about preparing well for the marriage you have longed for, read the full book, Baesics.