Friendship—It's ComplicatedMuestra

Day 7

In any relationship, friendships included, we have to start with our own posture when it comes to creating authentic connection. We have to lay our hearts bare before the Lord, letting Him examine our motives, all while allowing ourselves to be honest with where we’re really at.

We are responsible for our own hearts. No one else can do the work for us. Everything we do flows from the posture of our heart.

We have to let the Holy Spirit dig around in the soil of our hearts to get us to a place where there is reciprocity, mutuality, and a genuine heart to serve one another.

Authentic connections take intentionality.

Sometimes we also need to do the opposite of what we feel like doing and reach out to a friend to tell them the truth of where we’re really at, cracking the door open for connection. When we do this, day by day we will begin to overflow with a new sense of purpose, wholeness, and life. Remember this as well when it comes to being the sort of friend you want to attract: Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Just replace the he with she and ponder this.

This also comes down to looking more like Jesus in our relationships. He exerted self-control without the need to control others. He loves us even if we don’t love Him back—He laid it all on the line and is still willing to fight for connection to us, even if we won’t fight for it. Jesus is the ultimate model for friendship. I want to surround myself with friends who help me become the person God has created me to be, and I do the work in my daily life to do the same for them.

Reflection Points

• Do I know who I am in Christ, or do I look to others to fulfill my identity?

• Are you committed to doing the work to become a healed, powerful, and therefore safe person? If yes, what steps are you taking right now to walk in wholeness in certain areas of your life?

• What friends do you allow close to you? Are they doing the work in their own lives to become a powerful, healed, and safe person?

• Ask yourself, Who do I need to text, call, or show up for today to love them well?