Dirt by Mary MarantzMuestra

Day Six

Coming to Rest

Scripture: Isaiah 30:15; Ezekiel 36:26; Matthew 11:28

“She’s the most put-together person in the room.”

That’s the lie we tell ourselves about who we have to be in order to earn a spot in any of the places we walk into. Whether it’s the clothes we wear or the house we own or the pieces of us we so freely give away by saying yes when we really want to say no, we are all about the appearance of polished. The luster of confident and capable. Shiny on the outside.

But the true connection we crave happens when we finally take off our super hero capes and say, “It turns out I can’t leap tall buildings after all. Will you still love me anyway?” 

And we come, as ourselves, to God.

I picture this conversation with Him: He sits crisscross on the floor across from me, way too close for comfort at first. Close enough to play the hand-slap game if He wanted to, our knees almost touching. He stares into my face so long and so hard that I know He could see every flaw if He chose to, every line before it is even formed. 

I hang my head low, the weight of the shame and disappointment so heavy that my heart can hardly bear it. But instead of slapping my hands away, He gently counts every hair on my head. He lifts my face to the light of His own. I feel the warmth wash over me at once of being truly known and truly loved. He isn’t going anywhere. He isn’t walking out. He won’t leave because I wasn’t enough of something to get Him to stay.

I fall to tiny broken pieces in front of the Creator of the universe, every atom spinning in the orbit of His presence. And He leans in closer. Quiet. Listening for the words I need to say. When I’ve told Him everything, cried for every hurt and every fear and every other way I’ve tried and failed to find belonging, He puts a cool, comforting hand on my forehead and at once the pain begins to subside.

“That’s okay,” He tells me. “You just forgot who you were there for a little while. And it’s safe now for you to rest.” 

Questions: Spend time reading and speaking out loud one of the three Bible verses from today’s reading. Which words stand out to you the most? What do you think God might be speaking to you through those words?