The Essential JesusSample

Serious Forgiveness

PRAY: Begin your quiet time today by praying the Lord's Prayer slowly, phrase by phrase.

READ: Matthew 18:15-35

REFLECT: "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart" (v. 35).

Forgiveness is one of the toughest aspects of maintaining healthy relationships. Just ask someone who's married! But forgiveness was essential to Jesus' message and mission, and it's the theme of Matthew 18:15-35.

Jesus begins by explaining a very practical method for resolving conflict (vv. 15-20). First, talk to the person privately. Then go with others, and then involve the church. As a last resort, the relationship must be put on hold, remembering that Jesus was always willing to accept repenting sinners. Sadly, not many people have ever followed Jesus' advice. Counselors today talk about "triangulation"; that's when we talk to a third party instead of directly to the person who's offended us. It's just a fancy name for gossip, and it's deadly in a church.

In response to Jesus' forgiveness formula, Peter asks a question (v. 21) that might be restated something like this: "Lord, when is it okay to hate my brother and get revenge?" What Peter is fishing for is when he can stop forgiving. I can just imagine Jesus shaking his head and sighing, "You know, Peter, if you have to ask how many times you should forgive, you just don't get it." When we really come to understand how much God has forgiven us, there's no question that we must forgive those who offend us.

But all that sets up one of the most challenging statements Jesus ever made (v. 35). Could it really be that God gets angry with us if we don't forgive? Apparently so. Those who have been forgiven a large debt should be the most generous toward others. That's the whole point of the parable (vv. 23-34). Jesus is saying that our heavenly Father is serious about forgiveness, and we must be too.

APPLY: Can you think of a time when you were in the wrong, and someone forgave you? How did it make you feel?

PRAY: Bring to mind one person with whom you have a broken or strained relationship. Ask God to show you what he wants you to do to make things better.