The Power of a Praying CoupleSample

When you decide to get married, you also must make a decision to be a forgiving person. That’s because you will never be tested more on this than when you are married. Choosing to forgive frees us. Not forgiving the other person makes us miserable. That’s because there is always a price to pay for unforgiveness. In fact, we can never get rid of the negative thoughts we have toward a person we have not forgiven. And when we have unforgiveness toward anyone, that affects our relationship with God. The Bible says, “Your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear” (Isaiah 59:2). Until you get rid of your lack of forgiveness, God is not going to listen to your prayers. That doesn’t mean He can’t hear your prayers. It means that He won’t until you humbly confess sin before Him and invite Him to set you free of it. That instruction is too clear to even think about ignoring it.

Not forgiving your husband or wife is an iniquity. It is a sin against God. He feels that strongly about it. Jesus was crucified in order to bring His forgiveness to those who receive Him. So the least we can do for Him is forgive others—especially our husband or wife.

Most of the time we know when we have not forgiven someone. We feel it in our heart. But sometimes we can have unforgiveness in our heart and don’t even realize it. That’s why we must ask God to show us whether we have it or not. If we do, we must confess it to Him and ask Him to help us release it and be free of it. We have to be willing to forgive, but the good news is He will help us. There will be times when you must confess your unforgiveness to your spouse. Say that you don’t want to feel that way, so would he or she pray with you about it?

Forgiving someone frees you from the torture that not forgiving brings. Sometimes forgiving doesn’t come easy because the offense is great. When that happens, ask God to help you. He understands when an offense is so grievous that you don’t want to let someone off the hook. But forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes you free. I have said this in my other books about marriage because I had to learn this as a nonnegotiable truth if I wanted to move on in my life. God is not looking for you to get even. He wants you to get free so you won’t get stuck in unforgiveness hell. “He who follows righteousness and mercy finds life, righteousness, and honor” (Proverbs 21:21).

Because many opportunities for unforgiveness are in a marriage, you must keep the communication lines open. This is too important to not pray about it. Keep asking God to show you when you need to forgive anyone, but especially your husband or wife. Unforgiveness shows on everyone’s face who has it. People will sense that in you even if they don’t know exactly what it is. And it will definitely be evident to your spouse because it will come out in your attitude.

It’s not worth it to let unforgiveness grow and fester. The more it exists, the more destruction it will do—in your relationship and in your body.