The Deep-Rooted Marriage: A 5-Day Reading PlanSample

Day 1: The Courage of an Open Heart

Perhaps you’ve heard of kintsugi, the centuries-old Japanese practice of repairing pottery using gold lacquer instead of clear glue. It highlights each piece’s “unique history by emphasizing its fractures or breaks instead of hiding or disguising them,” often making the repaired piece even more beautiful than the original.

The method is based on a profound Japanese philosophy that brokenness can be tended to and made beautiful. It is the reversal of all that seems sensible. How can shards not only be brought back together but made stronger and more beautiful?

This depicts the mind-boggling claim of the resurrection—that death doesn’t get the final word, all losses will be redeemed, and even the scars of the cross will reflect the glory of God.

Likewise, repair in your marriage will defy logic and reasoning. It will feel both astounding and risky, especially as you give your partner access to hurts. But you are meant to be seen and known, to be honored and cared for, and you can choose to invite the deepest experiences of these things into your marriage. There always will be conflicts and ruptures for you to navigate, but as you grow stronger together over time, the duration of your disconnection will lessen and you’ll find ways to cultivate intimacy amid tension.

Opening your heart to your partner is a courageous act that begins the process of mending what is broken. It shifts your loyalty from disconnection to connection and tells your spouse, I choose you, and I choose us.

See if you can approach your spouse not with the intent to blame, judge, demand, or harm. Instead, come with curiosity and softness, with kindness and safety, and with the defiant intent to bring them goodness despite both of your failures. And with a commitment to live out Paul’s words in 2 Cor. 4:16, “Therefore we do not lose heart.”

Explore whether your own heart might say, “We both are imperfect and will fail. But we can choose connection and care with each other. We both can heal and grow—there’s more strength and beauty available to us. Let’s stay close as we move toward it.”

Response: What step can you take today to courageously open your heart to your spouse and choose connection over disconnection?

Prayer: Dear Lord, grant me courage, I pray, to open my heart to you and to my spouse, that you might move in and through our marriage to bring honor and glory to your name. Amen.