Wisdom for Everyday LifeSample

Using Words Wisely

Proverbs teaches us that, just like fires die down without wood, quarrels die down without gossip. Gossip is when you’re discussing someone and you’re not part of the problem or the solution – and it’s addictive. It’s tempting to listen to people speaking negatively about someone who isn’t present. We’re flattered when people are gossiping to us about another person because it implies that we’re trusted and in the inner circle. But we’d do well to remember that how someone talks to us about others is how they talk to others about us. Remembering this might change your interactions with certain people at work, at church, or elsewhere. Gossip can also make us feel superior because we’re able to identify other people’s failings and win others over to our cause. Gossip might make us feel better about ourselves – but that feeling doesn’t last long.

A friend of mine referred to me in conversation once and his phone automatically recorded and sent a long voice note to me (of the conversation he was having) without him knowing about it. Fortunately, he wasn’t being mean. It was funny! It was also sobering… think about how your conversations would change if, every time you spoke about someone who wasn’t present, your phone recorded your words and sent that person a voice note of what you’d said.

Proverbs also teaches us that too many words get us into trouble. It’s wise to think before we speak, instead of just blurting out whatever passes through our brains. When it comes to words, less is more. The trouble is, in this cultural moment, we have more things to speak about, and more ways of speaking. Wisdom reminds us that it’s very easy to speak the wrong word to the right person, or the right word to the wrong person, or the right word to the right person at the wrong time, or the right word to the right person at the right time in the wrong way. It’s hard to speak the right word to the right person at the right time in the right way. To do that, we need the Holy Spirit’s help.

We learn from Proverbs that even rulers can be persuaded through patient, gentle words. We need to exercise patience and play the long game when it comes to persuading those in our circles of influence. Impatience never works out well. We can think that persuasion comes from superior arguments, an imposing manner, or sheer power. But actually, it’s often the gentle word that helps us to see a situation differently, realise where we’ve been wrong, been unfair, or acted hastily or harshly. In a world of aggression and corrosive speech, gentleness is a superpower.

Repent if God has convicted you of gossip or harsh speech. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you gentle words of great power and see what He will do. Your words can change the world!