Sexual Integrity: Young Men Born for WARSample

"Talking To The Right Person"

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." - 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

I remember being in Bible school shortly after getting saved. When I got saved, cravings for alcohol and drugs left instantly; however, porn addiction needed to be fought and won. If you are in that situation where you did not get instantly free from lust, porn, or immorality, that just means you have to learn the biblical tools to win. That’s what I had to do, but I found myself talking to the wrong person.

I would be in my dorm room in Bible college after a failure, crying out to God and asking for forgiveness; I read 1 John 1:9,

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

I did this process of talking to Jesus and absolutely being forgiven. However, I was not healing or getting free from the lust and other behaviors. I was sincere, crying out to God, but still, change was not occurring.

It was not until I was in seminary that God spoke to me to be honest with my roommate if I did something inappropriate. I must be honest here: the first couple of times I told him, I was humiliated, but then I started to get free. I have now been free (tested by a polygraph) for 40 years this summer. It is possible to be free for life.

You say what is the difference between being forgiven and being healed. The key to healing is found in James 5:16,

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed.”

When I was talking only to God, I was getting forgiven; when I told someone of the same gender, I started to heal. This works I have seen thousands of people set free from lust and sexual sins by having a mature accountability partner. I still have accountability today to make sure I stay free.

Pick a mature spiritual leader and ask them if you can be accountable to them. Call them before you do something. Just when the temptation starts, call, and you will be amazed how the temptation can flee.

Questions:

1.How would you explain the difference between forgiveness and healing?

2.What are your feelings or thoughts about having a person of the same gender you could be accountable to?