Why Am I Single?Sample

The Gift of Being Single

I remember one Christmas when I was young, I received a slingshot from one grandma and a stock certificate from another. I thought the slingshot was amazing, but I couldn’t see the value of the stock. But a few years later, I was playing with the slingshot when it broke and left my arm bloodied. The gift I had thought would bring me joy left me in pain!

Another twenty years later, I had just arrived for my first semester of seminary. Most of my fellow students were so broke they couldn’t even afford food. But the stock I had been given had grown to a significant sum, and I was able to fund my dream of studying God’s Word. The gift I thought was worthless ended up bringing me joy and blessings!

Why tell you this story? To illustrate that often what you want in the moment is not what is best for you in the long run. You may want a relationship and marriage, but God knows the best gift for you right now is singleness. You may long to be connected with somebody, but God knows you need to wait. But why would God do this? What is his purpose?

Paul provides an answer in 1 Corinthians 7:35: “I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord” (NIV). God’s decision to make you single for a season is not meant to choke you, hold you back, or hurt you. It’s not because he has a sick sense of humor and wants to torment you. Rather, God has ordained this season of singleness because he wants to champion something in you.

Singleness, dating, and marriage are not the main storyline of life. God cares deeply about your love life—even more than you do—but there’s something bigger playing out. The bigger storyline is that we have all fallen short of what God intended us to be. The world is a mess. But God is on the move. In the midst of the darkness, he has broken in with a new kingdom.

God established this kingdom through his Son, and today he is populating this kingdom with messy people like you and like me. He is calling everyone out of the darkness in which they have lived. He is cleaning them off and setting them apart. He is adopting them into his family and inviting them to participate in his mission! This is the great story he wants you to share. It is a story not of a relationship with another person but of a relationship with the King!

The issue at stake is that there is an urgency for you to share this story. As Paul writes, “Brothers and sisters . . . the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not” (1 Corinthians 7:29 NIV). Someday, God will stop the clock. Life is short—not just for you, but also for all of history. So the time that is left should affect how you play the game.

This urgency should affect how you see the people in this world. When you look at them, you need to be more concerned about the states of their souls than their relationship status. This is what the gift of singleness is bringing to your life right now. God has ordained this period of time where you’re not married or dating to help you focus in on what matters most.

Respond

How do you view your singleness? What attitude do you need to see your singleness as a gift?

What work is God doing in your life right now that is best accomplished while you are single?

What work do you see God doing in the world that inspires you to serve him? How can being single at this point in time help you enjoy this opportunity?