Overcoming the Father Wound: The Path to VictorySample

DAY 4: Home (not-sweet) Home – Domestic Violence

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline [correction administered with godly wisdom and lovingkindness] will remove it far from him. Proverbs 22:15 Amplified Bible

Please note that the practice of biblical corporal punishment is totally different than beating a child in anger. One seeks to lovingly correct behaviors which could potentially be harmful to a child’s future. This should only be done temperately, and appropriate to the child’s age (level of understanding), physical size, etc. Inappropriate beating (a form of abuse) seeks to vent the parent’s feelings of rage, rooted in their hurtful childhood experiences.

Children can be damaged both by receiving and/or witnessing anger and violence in the home – which is supposed to be a safe place. According to one government report:

Many children exposed to violence in the home are also victims of physical abuse. Children who witness domestic violence or are victims of abuse themselves are at serious risk for long-term physical and mental health problems. Children who witness violence between parents may also be at greater risk of being violent in their future relationships. *

Noted rapper-turned-actor Will Smith released a memoir, in which he reveals that his father was an alcoholic and relentless perfectionist. He recounts that his father "terrorized his family" and was physically abusive to Will's mom. The trauma of that experience led Will to some shockingly dark places, including even contemplating hurting or killing his father.**

Sometimes men make an inner vow not to be like their dads – yet they often wind up doing that very thing. Tragic results can occur. They can feel hopeless and trapped in a cycle of anger, guilt, and shame. God understands, and is ready today to help us to break free from any and all multigenerational sin.

Suggested steps -

·Bring painful events to the light. If necessary, confess your sin (see I John 1:9) – to God, and to a mature Christian brother for support and accountability.

·Seek help from a Christian counselor, experienced Mens’ Coach, or a trained Pastor.

Prayer:

“Father, I thank you for your forgiveness through the Cross of Christ. Help me to surrender and release all those who have hurt me [name details if you can]. Amen.”

* See report found on womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-violence/effects-domestic-violence-children

** Will Smith information obtained from Mom.com, 2021, see also his memoir released in 2021, titled, “Will”