Challenges of a Millennial MarriageSample

Which Should Come First—Career or Marriage?

Devotional Content:

It seems to be the consensus that millennials will eventually be the most educated generation ever. You have already won the numbers game by being the largest generation as you passed the “boomers.” By 2020, you will comprise 75 percent of the work force in the United States.* Careers are certainly a part of most millennials’ future.

What about marriage? Millennials seem to be getting married later than previous generations. According to the US Census Bureau, the average age for first marriage is now 27 for women and 29 for men. The reasons are many but include the economy, dating apps, the woman's ability to delay childbearing, and disinterest. Some people want careers to come first—at least for a season.

Those are the facts. If you are reading this plan, you probably are in the minority because you are probably married or at least headed in that direction. Our question is this: Which should come first—career or marriage? If you are married, that decision has already been made. God is clear that the most important relationship for us in this life, next to our relationship with Him, is the marriage relationship. So if you are married, the question is this: How do you have the career you have planned for, went to school for, and dreamed of and at the same time put your marriage where God designed it to be? This is such an important question, and the answer is not simple. Let me give you some bullet points that I think will make a difference:

• If you both work, make sure you do everything you can do to have the same— or very similar—schedules and days off.
• If one works and one stays at home, both still need to focus on building the marriage.
• Never take a promotion or job change without talking it over together.
• Put your marriage first in your workplace. That means if you are expected as a part of your job to have lunch or dinner or to travel with a member of the opposite sex alone, your answer is “I can’t do that.”
• Have pictures of your family in your office. Talk about your spouse in positive ways.
• Don’t confide in someone of the opposite sex at work about anything.
• After work, have a connection time each day after you are both at home. Talk about each other’s day and how you both are doing. Identify things to pray about.
• If you work extra hours, make sure that it is for a season only. If we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, we can usually make it through these times.
• Have a date each week.
• Plan a getaway once or twice a year for just the two of you.
• Connect as much as possible throughout your day.

In Day One of this plan, we talked about what it takes to have the marriage God has designed for you. None of that changes when you talk about careers. Your careers can never overshadow your marriage. God first and spouse/marriage second always trump your career!

* “So How Many Millennials Are There in the US, Anyway?” MarketingCharts.com, May 3, 2016, [http://www.marketingcharts.com/traditional/so-how-many-millennials-are-there-in-the-us-anyway-30401/2]

Today’s Challenge:

Together go through Dr. Kim’s bullet points that will make a difference. How will you implement each of these into your career and your marriage?

Going Deeper:

Each of you write down your top three priorities in your life. Then share your lists and give each other input on this question: “Does your list match how you are living out your life?”