You Are Not AloneSample

Saul was the first king of Israel. According to 1 Samuel 9:2, he was the most handsome man in Israel. Before Saul’s kingship, Israel had been a theocracy – God was their King. Israel rejected God as their king because they wanted a human king like the other nations. Saul’s reign started well, with multiple victorious battles against the Philistines and nearby countries. However, when Saul offered an unauthorized sacrifice in 1 Samuel 13:8-14, God informed Saul through the prophet Samuel that Saul’s kingdom would not remain in his family. Then, we read in 1 Samuel 15:35, that the Lord “regretted that he had made Saul king over Israel.”

At this point, David came into the picture. David was called “a man after God’s own heart.” Samuel anointed him to be the next king of Israel. Not knowing this, Saul had David perform music to soothe his spirit. This is our first indication that Saul began to experience symptoms of mental illness. While his mental illness was undoubtedly caused by God withdrawing His Spirit from Saul, it was mental illness.

Saul began to experience fits of rage. He also made it a habit of carrying his spear with him, indicating his paranoia that people wanted to kill him. Scripture tells us that Saul hurled his spear at someone three times: twice at David (1 Samuel 18:10-11 and 1 Samuel 19:9-10) and once at Jonathan, his own son (1 Samuel 20:32-33). He experienced an escalation of anger; he exploded and experienced post-explosion regret.

1 Samuel 31:4 tells us that Saul fell upon his sword. In other words, Saul took his own life when he was mortally injured. Saul is one of the seven instances of suicide in Scripture. Most suicides have a component of mental illness, typically depression.

What can we learn from the emotional health of Israel’s first king? These verses show that no one is exempt from the threat of mental illness. Saul suffered from depression, anxiety, paranoia, impaired judgment, fits of rage, and violence against loved ones. He ultimately took his own life. He attempted to treat himself by listening to relaxing music, but his violent aggression cycles continued until his death.

Saul shows us that having a mental illness can be unavoidable. Isolation from others is not. Fits of rage and suicide are not. If you are considering hurting yourself or others, please seek help. You can call the national suicide hotline at 988.